


HOME

by Serenity



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, M/M, Multiverse, Other, child-care
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-02-01
Packaged: 2018-03-08 05:47:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 32,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3197693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serenity/pseuds/Serenity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After book seven Harry Potter has a complaint. Could there be a world, where he can be with Severus Snape again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to my wonderful and patient beta Stancey. Without you this story would have been forgotten.
> 
> This is an AU story with Explicit content in the end. You have been warned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will probably be my only Snarry story. It's my way to deal with my feelings for these two.  
> I know there are sensitive souls among the readers. Snarry, in my opinion, is about two wizards who have suffered and will suffer until love finds them. My story isn't fluffy.

_First there was love, then, the world emerged._

**Prologue**

 

Harry stalked the room, looking at the woman. "You just killed him?"

  
She nodded, painfully aware of her doing. She hated Severus Snape so much that she rather let him die than her darling hero Harry.

  
"I'm sorry," she said .

  
"Well, I don't care about your personal feelings, Jo. Did you care about mine?" he asked bitterly.

  
"I wasn't aware of your secret, Harry." she whispered. It hurt to see him so desperate. Didn't she put him through enough heartbreak? But how could she know about this? How could she not was the more truthful question, was it not?

  
"Help me, Harry, How did it happen? When?"

  
"What if I tell you? Will you resurrect him in a ridiculous kind of afterlife, or as a ghost? This is not Middle-Earth and there is no Valinor, Jo." the young man almost shouted but only to hold the emerging tears at bay.

  
"So you're not happy with Ginny?" the woman asked carefully.

  
"I'm not unhappy but only because you want me to. My children bear the names of the people I loved." he replied. It was not entirely fair. He cared about Ginny a great deal. Still, his heart belonged elsewhere. "You took everything from me and in the end you killed the one that had really mattered."

  
She watched him, feeling her own pain seeping through her skin, creating a dark cloud that reminded Jo of the grey days during her depression. It was utter loneliness. But why him?  
"I will bring you to him, Harry." she decided. "No afterlife, I promise." the woman added.

  
"You will?" his voice full of suspicion. "And how would you do that?"

  
"Do you want to be with him?" she asked.

  
Harry lowered his gaze. "Yes." he admitted, his voice cracking. "I don't care how. I just..." Tears wetted his cheeks now, falling on the sofa he sat on.

  
"Return to Hogwarts, Harry, and please, trust me." the woman pleaded.

  
Could he deny her? Although he just wanted to slap her face? Harry nodded. He would have made a contract with the devil only to get that one chance of meeting Severus Snape again.

  
Harry Potter closed his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 1**   
**The Comfort of Darkness**

**Chapter one**

One

 

"You cannot ask that of me, headmaster," the man shouted. Fury lit his eyes, his hair a black and wild mess.

  
The old man in front of him remained calm. Albus Dumbledore knew his young friend well enough to grant him this outburst. He also knew that Severus Snape was a man of the old times, a man of honour who considered the implications of "paying a debt" a serious matter. He could count on that.  
"Did you love her?" Dumbledore asked with a hint of hurt in his voice.

  
Snape averted his gaze, fearing his counterpart might see what he despearately tried to hide behind a mask of serenity. He had failed them, failed them all and his debt was beyond anything he could ever repay.

  
"Then help me to raise her son." Dumbledore added softly.

  
Snape still fought for control. The old man waited. His patience made it worse for the man in black. How was he supposed to deal with the death of the only human being he had ever truely loved and caring for her son silmutaneously? The pain was so numbing, he might as well be dead. Dumbledore brought him back with a gentle touch.  
Snape slowly lifted his head. "Where is the child now?" he said with a raspy voice.

  
"Professor McGonagall has taken care of him. She waits for my signal." Dumbledore answered.

  
Snape started pacing the room. Dumbledore watched him, relieved, because this meant thinking, sorting things out.  
"How do you propose I shall do this, headmaster?" Snape finally asked. "Where will the boy live? With me, in the dungeons of Hogwarts?" he stopped to look in Dumbledores eyes. "This is no place for a child this age. And you know it. Who will look after him when I work? The house-elves?" His tone went higher and bitter but Dumbledore smiled to himself.

  
He loved his former student even though the young man had made some very serious and wrong decisions. Only recently Dumbledore had offered him a position as teacher of Hogwarts, to prove himself, and was already left in awe of the man's talents. Snape's core persona consisted of the strongest passion and determination, let alone all these creative solutions when exposed to a daunting task. He was one of a kind and Dumbledore always wondered what kind of childhood had formed these capabilities.

  
Snape was already sorting things out, Dumbledore could feel it. And that was all he needed right now, a glimpse of Snape's most valuable skills already at work. The rest would unfold naturally and all Snape needed was constant encouragement from the headmaster's side.  
"You are the safest haven he will ever have, Severus." Dumbledore said so naturally that the magnitude of his words hit the man unexpected and his knees weakened. "*Accio* chair" The headmaster's reaction time was still unmatched. Snape sunk into the stuffed furniture immediately.  
The old man moved towards him. "I know you hurt beyond measure, my friend." his voice full of deep felt compassion. "For so many reasons." he added and paused, waiting for Snape to let the words sink in.

  
Snape lowered his head again.

  
"Help me, Severus! Help me protecting the only hope we have to destroy Voldemort one day completely." Dumbledore said and lay one hand on Snapes shoulder. "He has no family left, Voldemort saw to that. The Dursleys wiped out, Sirius Black in Azkaban. So there are no safe hands I could lay the boy into right now."

  
"But what makes you think I can do this?" Snape asked, still hoping Dumbledore would leave him alone with his private pain.  
"You can't." Dumbledore replied simply and Snape stared at him, unbelievingly. "But you will learn, because you know there is no alternative." The old man turned around, murmuring to a portrait of a former headmaster. "Inform Minerva to bring the boy to my office." he said.

 

Snape's world reeled so fast he felt sick to the bone. What did Dumbledore ask of him? He could not care for a toddler. He despised children. He hated their irrational behavior and the way they threw a well sorted household into utter chaos in minutes. Snape felt paralyzed but was determined to decline Dumbledore's stupid suggestion as soon as he found his voice again. Right now he simply remained in a state of mental shock.

 

The door openend and Minerva McGonagall entered the room with a small child, dozing in her arm. She looked rather motherly, rocking the boy, soothing him by humming a simple tune.  
"He is already very sleepy." she said quietly. "Cried his eyes out, the poor thing." she resumed humming.

  
Snape refused to come closer, curling his lips in disgust. This bundle of explosives had no business in a school like Hogwarts.  
"Severus." Dumbledore beckoned to him. "Come and meet Harry Potter."

  
Snape shut his eyes with a faint hope this was all but a terrible dream he would wake up from any minute. His lips a thin line, he remained in his spot when a strong hand gripped his arm.  
"You don't need to do this all by yourself." Dumbledore said. "Look!"  
Severus complied. He saw directly into a pair of emerald eyes he immediately wanted to fall into. He gasped and braced himself.

  
Those were Lilys eyes!

  
For a long moment he could not move. He never wanted to move again. If the world would freeze in this second then he would be eternally happy.

  
Dumbledore smiled. "I have sent word to prepare a small house in Craven's End." he whispered.  
"Craven's End..." Snape muttered, still under the spell of the boy's eyes.  
"... is the most secret place of the Northern England wizarding world, known to be protected by the strongest spells of ancient past, yes." Dumbledore finished. "Voldemort tried to find it but the spells are only common to a handfull of people and each one only knows just one of them."

  
"So it is more than a legend then?" Snape was surprised by Dumbledore's sudden sharing of such delicate information. The man really left no doubt about how much he trusted his fallen apprentice again. Snape felt strangely honoured and utterly ashamed at the same time. So Dumbledore had already given considerate thought to the future of this wretched boy. Snape felt trapped in a springe that closed around his neck all too rapidly. His head hurt. How could he refuse this man?

  
"I won't push you into this, Severus, but at the end of the day you know I'm right." Dumbledore said after a long pause."You are dismissed. I await your decision until tomorrow."  
Snape raised his head, glancing covertly at the little boy in McGonagalls arm and left the room.

 

Snape needed air, much of it. He wandered the ample lawns around the huge castle above him and tried to grasp what had just happened up there in the headmasters office. His heart burned against his chest; an image of the pale and still face of Lily Evans torturing him.

  
"Forgive me!" his mind echoed again and again. The pain became almost unbearable.  
Yes, he had been angry when he learned about Lily having a baby with James Potter. And though Snape had wished nothing but death to Potter, he never could have imagined how tragically soon his wish would come true. He grabbed his chest and fell to his knees.  
"Help me!" he cried into the vastness of the sky. "Tell me what to do!"  
Tears wet the corner of his eyes and he lowered his head shaken by violent sobs that escaped his body in wild staccato. For the first time he could weep for the woman he had loved, whose life he had betrayed and the shadow of a man he remained because of it.

  
But that was what he had always been, had he not?!  
The sobs faded. Snape rose slowly and sensed into every corner of his magic.

  
_You are the safest haven he will ever have, Severus._

  
Albus Dumbledore's words suddenly became very clear. It was not all about paying a life's debt. The boy practically needed to vanish from the world but remain in the grasp of Dumbledore until the time came... the time...for what? Severus did not know yet. But he was well aware that there was no man who could shield his mind from intruding, curious thoughts more successfull, no one who could hide his true feelings behind an unreadable mask like Severus Snape, a protective cloak the boy could slip under. He admired the old man's insight, sighed and straightened himself.

  
_Did you love her?_

  
He returned to the school, entering the dungeons, contemplating for the rest of the night the ramifications of a life with the son of James Potter...

 

*

 

Severus Snape had been awake all night. Though his body always ached from endless brooding in his favourite chair the silence of his quarters deep down the ancient castle still soothed his mind best. The fire had worn down and cold crept up the walls during the morning hours.  
Still he did not move.  
His thoughts had created all kinds of scenarios he might face when he really agreed to raise the boy. Snape's life was an ever spinning plot of his own making. The only time his plans had been disrupted was the love and death of Lily Evans. Not even the ongoing humiliation of James Potter and his ridiculus gang could really penetrate his carefully built shell around his thoughts and feelings. Snape had become so skilled in shutting people out of his life that he had even managed to hide them from himself.

He shifted in his chair, bending over to the small table, picking up a moving picture of a young woman rocking in a swing on a late summer day. She laughed.

  
Snape sat back rubbing his eyes. The laughter of Lily Evans had collapsed his shell in a second and he had never been able to seal it completely again. He had mastered the highest level of Occlumency at such a young age. Even the darkest wizard would fail to invade his thoughts but the eyes of Lily Evans had pierced a hole right into the core of his heart.

  
Snape gasped from all the overwhelming images and emotions suddenly emerging in his mind and stood up at once. If he allowed the boy into his life, would it not become pure torture from day one? Snape walked through the room. No matter from what angle he looked at the matter in the end it was always him who could really master it. But all of it?

  
He put down the picture. Dumbledore better had given some thought to all the questions regarding the upbringing of the most endangered child of the wizarding world, but how the hell Snape was supposed to deal with it?


	3. Chapter 3

two

 

The boy looked at him. The innocence of his expressions...Snape felt tortured right away.

"Come with me, Harry." Madame Pomfrey said and guided the child out of the room. Severus watched him go, then he turned to Dumbledore, his face like stone.

The old man gazed at him as calm as always but his eyes looked wary. The violent deaths of fellow wizards, even worse, former pupils of the headmaster left their trace on his face. Snape felt strangely comforted by his sad look.  
He cleared his throat. Did he even need to say anything? Dumbledore waited.

"I made a terrible mistake." he finally began. "And paid the ultimate price for it." his voice cracked. "I do not expect to ever be redeemed of it." His words carefully considered. Snape wanted to make things clear in front of Albus Dumbledore who was willing to trust him again, maybe to forgive him. Snape did not want to be forgiven. And he knew how he could prevent feeling forgiven for a long time.

"I will take the boy." he said with relieve as if the words unspoken had caused him pain. His face remained unreadable but Albus Dumbledore saw the sparks of light in the dark eyes. The child had touched him more than he admitted himself to feel. The headmaster exhaled audibly. Then he nodded and smiled as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders.  
"Now tell me how in Merlins name I shall raise him."

Dumbledore moved towards him. "Thank you, Severus." he said quietly and then he submitted his plan as carefully detailed as Snape had expected.  
"As you probably already realise, you cannot stay in your own house, nor can I let you bring the boy to your mother's house." he began.

"Who would want to raise a child there." Severus rermarked bitterly, wondering why Dumbledore even mentioned it.  
"The house-elf of the Prince family could prove most valuable in this matter but your mother not. I just wanted ot be as specific and thoroughly as possible here," the headmaster continued.

Snape did not have any contact with his mother since the death of his father. Why she had married a muggle always escaped him. Tobias Snape had been a man of great ambition, had hoped to rise above average man by taking a witch as a wife. He was head of a great company, a tall man who looked very intimidating when angry. But Snape knew from a very early age on that he was far more powerful than his father.

Tobias Snape had never smiled much. Not only because he believed in keeping private, but because he was afraid. Deep down he feared his wife and son, feared their secret powers. On any sign of emotion, his father had ordered his wife to control the boy, to read his mind. The constant intrusion had felt like an ongoing abuse. Nothing had been private ever, until he strived to become the unsurpassable occlumentist he was today. Unfortunately, his fear and hatred had driven him into the wrong direction and only now when he had lost the most precious being, he had awakened.

Dumbledore had embraced the lost son, had saved him. It might take a lot of time to install the tiniest bit of self-worth in Snape again, but Dumbledore would not abandon him. His faith in the young man was unshakebly strong. Snape had no clue where the old man's conviction came from. He only knew that he felt safe with Dumbledore, safer and more respected than with anyone else, maybe for the first time really respected for the wizard and human being he was. He owed him forever. There was no doubt that he would do anything Dumbledore asked of him.  
The old man knew that by redeeming Snape he had gotten the most powerful ally and he felt safe with him as well, more than Snape could ever imagine...

"Craven's End has always been a well protected place. You must know that many wizards and witches have sought refuge there over the centuries. I am myself was among them," Dumbledore said with a crooked smile.

Snapes eyes widened.

"But that is another story." he added. "I will say no more, Severus. All you need and everything you must know you will find there. It is too dangerous to wait much longer."

Snape opened his mouth in protest. Fear welled up inside him but before he could reply, Madame Pomfrey entered the room. "We are ready." The boy stood behind her, clinging to her garment. Snape's heart took a leap. He suddenly felt overwhelmed.

Dumbledore took his right arm. "Severus."

There was so much he was not ready for. But then, had he been ready for Lily's death? So, taking the boy was just the next lesson that he could never be ready for unpredictable turns his life might take. And his eyes. Snape took a deep breath. These eyes then. They should become his fix point from now on. In their depths his duty lay, forever!

 

 

**Chapter two**

 

One

Craven's End was located a few yards from a town named Craven, where Muggles spend their petty little lives in utter ignorance of the village near by. Visitors could only see wide farmland, unattended but with a warning sign "Danger, restricted area".

Snape arrived with the boy directly in front of it. His lips twitched. The child slept in a vehicle for strolling, as Madam Pomfrey had explained. "Porta revelare" he said pointing his wand into the nothingness and then "Alohomora". A small door opened into another world. He slipped through it with the boy. He exhaled, released, though his head started hurting.

Snape had never dared to dream that he might visit this place one day. Craven's End was just one of these famous rumours of the wizarding world. Everybody knew about it, but put it in the realm of fairy tales. Yes, even wizards and witches considered certain things fictional, though the stories around these things proved to be bestsellers in the storytelling-market of wizards.  
He sighed. That definitely did not qualify for Craven's End because right now he looked at a few, very real houses, (neatly arranged and lightened by an invisible force) not to find on any map, whether Muggle nor Wizarding world. Dumbledore had told him to ask for a Mrs Hain in the huge black house near the entrance. In fact, he could not miss that one because it resided like a solid rock on the left side of the main street - the only street. Small windows blinked into the misty air. Quite like home, Severus thought as an uneasyness crept up inside him that he could not fully supress.

He knocked in an ordinary fashion. Nevertheless, this place was packed with magic. His body trembled from the sheer force of it. The door opened slowly. Nobody was there, but Snape felt the presence of a witch near by. He had expected such mystic behavior. In this part of the world one had to convincingly declare one's identity.  
Snape said the code words and added a short tale of Dumbledore that only the headmaster and this particular witch in the dark would know. Then he waited.

"You may enter." a voice echoed from the shadows.

The boy frowned and Snape was afraid he might burst into tears. But he held on. Snape heaved Harry out of the stroller and they stepped in. The door closed as slowly as it had opened. Lamps lit the huge parlor. There she was, a witch, all clad in a dark green robe, long red hair and eyes from a colour of the deep sea.

"I am Severus..."

"... Snape." she concluded.

He nodded. Snape was the least powerful wizard of this whole place because he simply came from outside, from a nearly ordinary world compared to this. His head pained him since he had entered the secret door in the field. But now it simply throbbed and threatened to shut his brain down.

"You better cease to shield your mind, Severus." she said serenely. "You are an extraordinary occlumentist but here your skill will crush your brain because our spells are much stronger than you."

Snape trembled. Taking his shields down meant utter danger to him. But he already seemed to be an open book to her. His childhood fears wanted to overwhelm him all at once. The witch watched him patiently then averted her eyes to the boy, who had put his hand on the man's leg and pulled at his robe. Severus stared down at him and their eyes met. He babbled something and the man's nerves settled for a moment.

"It's all right." he managed to say and the words seemed to sooth him as well.

"You see?" the witch said as if she already understood what had happened. "You are safe here, don't fear this place. It will protect, not harm you."

It was not a matter of trust but of his further well being whether he complied or not. Severus's head still ached when he cautiously lowered his shields. The witch smiled.  
"Allow us to help you, will you?" she added and streched her hand to greet the boy. "So, you are Harry. Welcome to my house."

The boy clung to Snape who looked surprised by this sudden display of affection. The man turned to the witch again. "Mrs Hain, I presume?"

"Forgive my impoliteness, yes. I am the witch in charge here. We don't have many inhabitants. Always as many as needed. You may come to this house when you require something." she beckoned to a door that led into a large salon. The little windows from outside prooved to be rather large from the inside. The light warmed the room exquisitely.  
"Yes, we like to play with appearances around this place to our own delight." she said amused when she realised his puzzlement. "You may do that as well in your own house."

Own house? He had so many questions but remained silent, still trying to adjust to the magic of the place. She presented him a chair. For the boy a playground appeared in which he hesitatingly but slowly rejoyced.

"How do you feel?" she asked, concerned about his fear of opening his mind.

"I'll manage." Snape replied. Letting go of his shields would probably take some time, So far he could not detect any violent intrusion into his thoughts.

"Fine. You will realise that our sharing of minds will only support and never harm you." she assured him. That remained to be seen, he thought but nodded politely. She commanded a book and a quill. "You will live in the house of Madam Hearthwood. She will aid you in your duty as a parent."

Snapes lips thinned.

"You are of course only a substitute, Mr Snape, but nevertheless the one who takes responsibility for the boy. He will confide in you." she blinked at him, knowing his fears. "Madam Hearthwood is more than just a maid or nurse. She will help you dealing with this tremendous task."

Snape lowered his eyes. "How am I supposed to continue teaching at Hogwarts?" he asked with a restraint voice.

"Like all parents do, Mr.Snape." she answered cooly. "The boy will be with us during the day until your return in the afternoon."

"But I am used to working late. I need to study during most night hours. And my students. Who will tend to them when they need help?" Not that he prefered any interaction with all those ridiculous kids but his Slytherin pupils needed at least one teacher in whom they could trust.

"You will not be in any demanding position in Hogwarts anymore until the boy enters this school in ten years, just a substitute teacher. During this time his well being and education are your main concern. Did not Professor Dumbledore instruct you on the matter?" she asked worriedly.

"Not that fully." Snape sighed. His life had taken the wrong turn with two sentences.

The witch looked at him sypathetically. "I am sure Professor Dumbledore has picked you for a reason. He trusts your abilities. But..." she paused and Snape looked up.

"... he also told me you would need a great deal of encouragement." and smiled.  
Harry threw a toy at Mrs Hain. She held it off with her wandless magic, grabbed it cautiously and turned to the boy. "There will be plenty of fun in your new home, dear."  
And with this words she send him off with the necessary spells to walk among them.

 

Two

Snape felt a bit lightheaded. The charms the woman had cast on him seemed to electrify every cell of his body. But he did not really like it. It actually frightened him. He would need time to adjust himself to this environment. The young man trembled but with every step closer to the grey house near the end of the village he grew more confident with the powers that penetrated him. His shields had crumbled almost fully now but he could not feel any negative effects so far.

The boy seemed a bit frightened by the unfamiliar place, though Godric's Hollow had not been much different. Snape was thankful that Harry could not talk yet. The occasional "Mommy" had escaped his little mouth but he had not mentioned her for a while now. Snape's heart took a leap when he thought about her and the boy, who was surely much deeper wounded and marked for life by the violent loss of the two most important people of his life than him. Harry had cried in Hogwarts all night until they had left the old castle together. Snape had absolutely no clue why the boy was so calm around him.

Still Snape resented the kid. Plainly James Potter was mocking him from the afterlife. But Lily... oh Lily, she was the reason he did this, and everytime the hate threatened to suffocate him, Severus summoned his new Patronus, taking refuge with the gentle doe.

They reached the house. The hour grew late and the distant English sun descended in a pale and blurry evening colour. The magic added a few shades of gold or maybe Snape just imagined it.  
 _"Greystone"_ the nametag read.  
And it was grey indeed, not the washed-out kind but an intense grey with subtle hints of blue, on top a typical thatch-roof. One could find them all around in Craven. Wizards did not care about modern styles, all they needed was something to cheer their minds and they usually held to well-tried models. Their spells did the rest. Snape snarled because he was used to the stonewalls of the worn out brick-lined houses of Spinner's End. He did not like the sentimental country panache but that was the least of his problems now. He would adjust the interior according to his needs... and the boy's.

Harry sat in the driving vehicle and watched the scene. He was absorbed in the new surroundings and sucked on one of his thumbs. A bad habit Snape intended to cure him from - well, in the near future. He had no clue how he should do that but he knew that he hated thumb-sucking. When he was a child, his father had beaten Snape's hands with a stick until he had abandoned this habit himself. The pain had been excruciating on more than one level. Severus felt cold with the memory so vivid, and silently promised to never whip the boy.

A wild meadow encircled the house. He sighed. Flowers always reminded him of Lily. Everything nature bore her face. He would cut it down to a decent English lawn. Snape knocked, again. This time the woman opened the door right away.

"Madam Hearthwood?" he asked though it seemed improper.

"I am indeed, Mr. Snape. Welcome to _'Greystone'_!" she replied and invited them in.

Snape was puzzeled by his instant trust in the woman.

"I see you adapt quickly to our communal link, Sir." she smiled.

What had they done to him? He insisted on feeling brain washed but could not summon enough anger to cling to it. Snape entered the parlor and found the interior already quite bearable. No unnecessary furniture, no joyful pictures. Instead, dark-wooden bookshelfes, velvet curtains and an old, impressive fireplace in the salon with a fire already burning that did not heat the room too much. The woman, a young witch with pale blue eyes and short, straight hair, watched him from a distance.  
"Professor Dumbledore let us prepare the rooms according to your preferences, Sir. Is it acceptable?" she asked.

Snape nodded and cursed the wretched old man for making him comfortable. But he did not want to upset the young lady. That would have been impolite.

"The child's room is upstairs, as are your private room and the study." the witch continued.  
She moved upstairs and the party followed. Harry needed help climbing the stairs. Snape extended his hand reluctantly. So far he had touched the boy as little as possible. But that would have to change, too, he presumed. The boy took his hand and it felt like guiding him into a new world, a future neither Snape nor Harry knew where it led them.

The upper floor revealed a much lighter atmosphere, corresponding with the colours of a cloudless sky. The boys mood lightened at once when he opened the door to the nursery. There it was - all that Snape rejected. A colourful world.

The witch watched him. "A child needs diverse stimulation. Light and all that mirrors it." she said while they watched Harry carefully exploring the room.

Snape kept silent. Darkness had proven to be the most soothing place in his life so far. And though he was alone in it, at least he was safe. And now he had to leave it. Once again, he silently cursed this outragous situation.

"I am Maryn, by the way, the nursemaid, and your help with everything regarding the child." the witch said softly.

"We are fine for now." Snape said with a superficial coolness. All he wanted was to settle in by himself. "I will send for you if I need anything."

"I have prepared a little supper. See to the boy drinking enough." she turned for the door. "And don't just put him to bed and switch the lights off, will you? He's just lost everything." A last glance at the man in black then she disapparated.

They were alone in the grey house. Snape exhaled and tried not to think back to last week when his life had taken the worst turn. _He's just lost everything!_ Harry still played silently in a corner. Snape watched him. A ray of the fading evening light stole into his heart.

 

 

Three

A cry woke him in the middle of the night. Snape blinked but was instantly alert - the darkness irritated him only for a second. Then again, crying from the room near by. He fetched his wand and got up.

_"Lumos"_ he whispered and entered the child's room. Harry sat straight up, sobbing, his cheeks full of tears.  
 _"Accio bottle"_ Snape said, and a little tea flagon rushed to his hand. The maid had left some instructions on the kitchen table. One of them stressed that little children often woke up at night and needed care.

Not that Snape had had much sleep during the last hours. He still tried to wrap his mind around this absurd situation. He missed his dungeons at Hogwarts. In a few days he was allowed to return there, thank Merlin, and the boy would spend his day with other kids and in the care of people who were excellently trained to tend to childrens needs.

Snape had reached the boy's bed. When Harry saw him he started to cry all over again, rose to his feet and stretched out his little arms. They accidentally touched Severus's hand, and a string of magic exchanged unexpectedly between them. Electrifying impulses rushed through Snapes body. A wizard melting with the raw magic of a wizard-child in need. He flinched and gasped, dumbstruck. Snape had read about it but put that, too, into the realm of fairy tales. Harry fell silent for a moment. They looked in each others eyes and Snape's legs started to tremble slightly.

"Mommy" the boy said and wept again.

The return of his tears shook the man out of his palsy. For an unknown reason the invisible wall between them had softened. As if he had done this before, Severus took the boy in his arms. Harry nestled up against Snapes neck and the hot, wet face nuzzled his skin. He held him like that for a while. The boy was not really thirsty and with a little wandless magic the bottle carefully descended to a near table. After a while the crying had ceased and Harry returned to quiet sobbing. He calmed more and more in Snapes embrace. A tear went down Severus' cheek and he could not conceive why.

Harry had fallen asleep again. Snape was torn between putting the boy back in his bed or taking him to his own room. Something told him, Harry would wake up more often at night and he rejected the idea of endlessly wandering back and forth between their rooms. His habit of shutting the world out had suddenly gotten weak. While he still listened to the boys breathing he tried to remember a time when his mother had soothed one of his nightmares. Snape could not. Instead he had learned protecting spells from a very young age. His father believed in astringency against fears. Everything else was for wimps.

But that picture dissolved while he allowed himself to give in to the comfort of the boy's need for tranquility. Now his legs moved by themselves to his chamber. Snape's bed was large enough to accomodate the child there. He put him down, carefully, covering the little body with his blanket.  
Snape lay down again and stared at the obscured ceiling. Here in the darkness of the night, alongside this sleeping child Hogwarts seemed to him a memory from another life.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Three**

One

After two days Snape had managed to build a quite impressive lab in the basement of the house. He had argued with Dumbledore over this and successfully convinced the old man that he would not agree to his flagrant plan without a special place where he could work in solitude, a place where the boy was off limit.

Leaving a sound-detecting spell in the boys room he had begun to work on his potions during half of the night hours. Snape had never required much sleep and that came in handy with a toddler who demanded his whole attention during the day where he spent an unusual amount of time outdoors with the boy. A few days in the English summer sun had coloured Snape's skin into a mild caramel which covered the dark rims under his eyes sufficiently. The random behaviour of a one year old challenged all his last reserves of strength and dignity. But he did not complain as long as he could work after the boy went to bed.

Harry still cried at night and Snape wondered about the horrors inside the boy's head when he woke up without looking at the versant smile of his mother, but he managed. Every night he slept in Severus's bed and they gave each other a mysterious kind of solace.

 

After a week he was summond to Hogwarts again. He would not openly admit it, but he missed the business of the castle. Solitude was only consoling amidst a crowd. In the early morning hours he sat with Harry at the breakfest table feeding him the cornmeal Madam Hearthwood had prepared. She turned out to be an admissible cook. Harry did not complain and neither did Severus.

"Behave, young man." Snape said in a cool yet annoyed tone when Harry tried to snatch the spoon from him. He hated the way little children covered everything with the smear of their sticky fingers, especially during mealtime. But the remark was half-heartedly because inside he felt restless. It was the first day for Harry to stay alone with the witches of Craven's End. They had assured him that Harry would meet other kids but still he was concerned how the boy would react to another change of settings with new adults surrounding him. And above all he felt as if a greater distance between them would increase the potential danger for the boy. It was an irrational thought, he reprimanded himself, because Craven's End was undoubtly a far safer place than Snape's mere presence. Still...

Snape scowled. _Look what you turned into already!_ Next thing was that Harry called him Daddy. He shuddered.

"Off you go." he said and with a cleansing spell all stains had been removed.

 

 

Two

 

Hogwarts seemed bigger.

At the beginning of the school year the 6th graders had looked unsettingly young to Snape, whose 22nd birthday was only a few weeks away. What could he possibly teach them, he had mused? Now, after a week in the middle of nowhere with a small child in his personal care, he discovered that he looked at them differently already. As if he had been forced to live in a parallel universe that would alter him everytime he returned to his real life. Still, Snape easily resumed his unreadable face. He was back in the world where the mastery of occlumency defined his prescinding status.

He had refused to teach 6th and 7th years so far because they still knew him from his schooldays. The thought was humiliating in itself. He feared their scorn. But Dumbledore had insisted he stayed at Hogwarts. When he had asked him why, the old man had only smiled and said "If you agree to my terms of our arrangement you need to trust me." Snape just feared that Dumbledore wanted him close by because HE did not confide in the young wizard. He could not blame him. Deep down Snape felt so addled, he did not even trust himself.

So this was his first appointment, Dumbledore's office.  
When he faced the headmaster for the first time after moving in with the boy, Snape almost felt like a schoolboy again. He despised the weakness the child had evoked in his heart. His shields felt like gosammer skin. He wanted to hex the old man who looked quite content at the scenery. But the storm settled inside him. He knew what he owed to old greybeard. He knew.

"Well?" Dumbledore asked.

Snape came closer, slowly. "Well" he began, folding his hands behind his back. "The boy is fine."

"And you?" the old man asked further. There was a velvet, compassionate tone in his voice.

Snape sighed. How was he? "I really don't know, headmaster, not yet."

Dumbledore understood and returned to casual matters. "Unfortunately we cannot have any contact to the witches of Craven's End while you teach here in Hogwarts only if it's an emergency."

"I see." Snape replied. He would just keep his worries to himself. Even Dumbledore had no business knowing about them. Snape actually enjoyed to practise occlumency again.

 

The days in Hogwarts went by in a haze. Snape concentrated on his potions and all his wizarding powers poured into his work at school. He did not bother engaging in school activities but left Hogwarts every day at 3 pm. Nobody asked why, because Dumbledore had ordered to leave Snape alone. People mused and talked, but when the headmaster protected someone then talking was all that happened in the corridors.

He returned to the village where Harry was brought to his house by a nursing witch. Snape had refused to visit the place where the boy stayed in his absence as if he could protect a part of himself from the total take-over.

When the witch and the boy entered _"Greystone"_ Harry walked towards him as soon as he recognized the dark figure. His face beamed and Snape watched himself opening his arms to an embrace the boy ran into. They both remained silent. It already was like a ritual. Snape had refused to join any kind of childish chitchat from the day they both had arrived in the village. He believed in the tranquility of magic. He looked at Harry's face and reached out to him without words. The boy learned quickly to open up to him with his mind. After a few weeks he smiled only rarely but a calmness grew in his face. Snape could not be anybody else just because a child had been thrown into his life.

The witches tried to convince him that the boy needed more laughter and comfort but Snape brushed aside their concerns. HE was entrusted with the boy's upbringing in Craven's End, and he sensed the strong magical powers of the child. Craven's End with its collective consciousness was the perfect place to teach Harry the ways of wizards. Oh, how Snape had wished his parents had raised him like that.

 

The man grew confident with each day and Harry grew up playing and talking like any other wizard-child. Snape had no time to mourn the death of Lily, for the boy demanded every bit of his spare time. Instead of hating himself for that, Snape had to grudingly admit that he felt almost content with the kind of ordinary life he had settled into over the first months. The way little children could talk to you without words appealed to the man. It was all in a look, a touch. And they responded so openly and innocently, no hidden agenda, just pure emotion. Amidst the chaos that a life with a child could mean, there was total safety. Harry loved him, he trusted Severus Snape and both just knew it.

He kept brewing his potions in the late evening, sinking into the sweet and desolate darkness of solitude and spent his days in Hogwarts, driving pupils crazy because of it. That way he could always come to Harry with a balanced mind, ready to face his secret task. It was his way, it was the only way of sustaining his sanity.

 

 

three

 

After seven months the boy went through his first child disease, chickenpox. Madam Hearthwood arrived with potions and valuable advice.  
"Some wizards don't survive these infections, mostly harmless for Muggles.You cannot go to your lab tonight, Mr. Snape." she said.

His face twitched, and a ring of panic nested in his heart. The witch read him instantly.  
"The boy needs your attention all night. You may pitch your bed in his room or take him into your chamber. He really must be close to you."

Snape inhaled deeply, summoning all his strength to nod silently and showed the woman out of his house.  
When she left, he stopped at the boy's door and watched him. Harry slept after a rather powerful potion that eased the disturbing itches all over his body. The magical fever that usually accompanied this disease could only be mastered by certain spells.

Snape railed inside. Downstairs a complicated potion awaited his attendance. He had sought for the appropriate ingredients and prepared the complex brewing for weeks. If he could not continue his work the potion maybe wasted and a good deal of money gone for nothing. He cursed the wretched brat for doing this to him.

It started at two in the morning.  
The boy broke out in a sweat Severus had never seen before. Madam Hearthwood had warned him about this first sign. After a moment of shock when the man realised that this was not a scientific hypothesis anymore but the life of his fosterling at stake, he fell into a kind of functional mode that overpowered all concern. Snape was prepared.

He entered the room, removed the blankets and lay a hand on the boys chest. It was so hot, Severus flinched but started murmuring while closing his eyes.

He met the child in another realm, a place of their magical communication. Snape "saw" the fever. It was like a fire, moving through every cell of the frail body leaving burned flesh. He reached out to the source of the fire with a freezing hand and slowly, very slowly calmed it with another and another charm.

The hours passed, but the man sat beside the bed of the boy and calmed the fever down until finally Harry slept soundly and his temperature returned to normal. Snape gave in to exhaustion, and Madame Hearthwood found both asleep, Harry's little hand on Snapes arm.

"Severus" she whispered.

Snape stirred.

"Shh, it's me." she continued in a low voice. "You've done well this night. The boy is safe."

_Safe_ , he thought and relaxed.

It was the last time this thought crossed his mind regarding Harry.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter four**

 

 

one

 

The dreams came the next night. First Snape had hoped they would just vanish, and in the morning he went to Hogwarts like everyday, but this was the third night Harry was screaming. Living a normal life with teaching and relaxing in his lab had become impossible. The Dark Lord had found him. Snape held the crying boy and wished, he could expand his shield of occlumency, but instead he was damned to watch the child burning in the fire of his private hell - Snape's legilimentic skills more punishment than help.

He reached into the boy's mind, but a child at that age was not able to "listen" to people in his dreams, because he did not even realised HE was a person. All he experienced were emotions Snape could not save him from.

So he constantly tried to wake him up. But it was hard, as if Voldemort had a death grip on him, as if he tried to kidnap the boy's soul. Snape felt devastated. Only after minutes and minutes he could bring him back to their world. Harry sobbed for a long time afterward because of the agony Voldemort had inflicted on him. He spoke soothing spells then and felt like the good fairy from an old muggle tale, that had attenuated the bad spells of a witch. He hated himself for not being good enough. Voldemort still had no idea that this former Death Eater now lived with his worst enemy. Why, why in Merlins name was Craven's End not able to protect the boy from his torment?

 

Snape went to speak to the head council of Craven's End.  
"How is it possible?" He asked with a strained voice. His face looked pale and worn out.

Mrs. Hain let him release some pressure, her features concerned but calm.  
"Severus. I know you worry about the boy. All I can tell you is, that he may not live anymore if he would not be here." she said.

A puzzled look from Snape.

"Albus told us that something like that might happen. We do all we can to protect him."

Snape still did not understand. "You call nightmares and screaming half of the night "protection"?" He wanted to hex this ridiculous woman right now.

"Severus, the boy is here for a reason. Voldemort tries to kill him and he would have already accomplished that, if Harry would not be here." she answered and led him to a window.

"Do you see the tower at the end of the street?" she asked.

"Yes." How could one miss this huge, black pillar of hectoring?

"That is Merlin's obelisk of protection." she said. "Only a few wizards know it's here."

Snape looked closer, wrapped in a feeling of awe. The obelisk had protected the host of Arthur from unfriendly eyes while walking the lands. Slowly it dawned on him.

The woman nodded.  
"Craven's End knows how to shield wizards from enemies, Mr. Snape. But we cannot guarantee a complete abscense of harm, unfortunately."

Snape turned away. Only now he began to understand what it meant that the most dangerous wizard wanted the boy dead, very badly. He felt suddenly small and helpless. Was there anything the boy could benefit from his presence, if such ancient magic could not shelter him wholly?

The witch blinked, knowingly. "Don't waver, Severus!" she pleaded. "You are a very important part of his protection."

He turned around, surprised. "Is that so?"

She raised her hand. "You carry the love of Lily Evans." she began, watching him.

He lowered his head.

"Yes, I know." she continued. "Lily protected her child with her heart and Voldemorts spell turned to waste."

Snape looked at her questioningly.

"Whoever is connected to her heart will be a shield for her son. You are his shelter, Severus." she paused. "And you've already proven it."

Snape remembered the chickenpox. And though it seemed small a contribution, the boy had responded quickly to his treatments.

She nodded again.

After a few moments he found words again. "If I am so powerful, why can I not force the nightmares away?" he asked bitterly, hearing the faint sobs of a two year old from his memory.

"Well, you are a wizard, Severus. You may find a way." With theses words she dismissed him and he found himself strolling through the village, raging with thoughts. Eventually he entered his house again where Harry had woken from his afternoon nap, higly disturbed.

"What happened?" he asked with a growling voice.

"He just woke up five minutes ago and started crying. I can't do anything." Madame Hearthwood handed the child over to Snape. He relaxed, fortunately, both of them did, but for how long?

"I need to see Dumbledore!" he said. "Today."  
They arranged for leaving Craven's End. Snape insisted on taking the boy with him. He maybe safe here, but being apart from his guardian obviously pained him beyond measure. Snape did not want to risk more damage to the child than already done.

 

 

Two

 

They entered Hogwarts at Midday. Dumbledore opened his fireplace to the floo, so the man and the boy remained unseen.  
The headmaster greeted both. "Severus." He observed him closely. Snape truly looked like a parent who could use a long vacation.

"I have come for counsel." Snape said in a low voice as if ashamed by his own inability to solve the matter.

"Relax, my friend. Raising a child is never meant to be a task for one person only." Albus answered warmly.

Snape sat down. That impossible man had some nerves. But he felt relieved to be with him. The witches of Craven's End maybe good mothers and nurses to children, but who nursed him when he wanted to crawl into a hole, never to return to this cursed boy and his confounding burden. So this was more about him, Snape realised.

Dumbledore looked into his eyes, and the young man felt like drowning. He blinked the emotions away, but the shields lowered in the presence of the headmaster.

"I'm afraid he will not survive another night, Albus." he said. _Nor I._ He added silently.

"What did the witches say?" the old man asked back.

"They urge me to stay by his side, but that won't solve the problem. It just cures the symptoms."

"At least." Albus mused.

Snape remained silent.

Dumbledore paced the office. "So Voldemort found a way into him."

"It is still unclear whether by accident or by intention. I am at a loss, headmaster. The boy's dreams are far too vague." the young man reported.

Dumbledore came to a halt. "Severus, you've probably already realised at this age there is no possibility to find out what's troubling him." He watched Harry closely. "My sister went through nightmares as well, like many children when magic dawns inside of them, or outside magical forces are at work."

Snape looked up. "What did your family do then?"

Dumbledores eyes brightened. "My mother sought the most famous potions master of Northern England and he brewed a sleeping draught of extraordinary potency." he looked away. "But he's been dead for decades now."

"Has it helped your sister?" Snape asked.

"Yes." Silence. "But Harry isn't just disturbed by a magical wave or growing pains. The darkest wizard sweeps the country with his rage and hate. The more Harry grows, the harder hiding him will become."

Snape rose, bringing up a delicate matter. "Sir, the witches told me that I am a strong protection for the boy myself."

"That is true."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wasn't absolutely sure. I wanted you to find it out for yourself." Dumbledore answered .

Snape looked at him, realising, the old man had not all the answers, either, but it helped being in his presence, hearing his words even if it meant to sort things out on his own. He mechanically raised his shields and Dumbledore noticed.  
"May I visit my lab in the dungeons? I will need some supplies." Snape asked.

The headmaster nodded silently. Snape left.

 

 

Three

 

Harry slept soundly in the flickering glow of magic candles. He lay huddled under a small blanket in a comfy chair, that Snape had dragged downwards into his lab at Craven's End.

The potions master was busy, cauldrons steaming, books scattered, his hair a wet mess around his face. It was almost four O'clock and outside the early summer sun soon would claim back heaven.

But the man did not care.

It was the seventh night without any remarkable results. He feared to never find a suitable sleeping draught. Snape felt like something was missing. At least, he had managed to get the boy through a three hour sleeping period. But his sleep remained restless. Snape had become a constant visitor of the wizard's black market for its mostly illegal ingredients. He trod highly unstable ground there, but with some help of the witches he managed to avoid unpleasant incidents with the ministry's snoopers.

Remarkable those witches – they miraculously disappeared most of the day but always kept a mental touch with Snape. He could listen to their soothing voices if he wanted to. They chanted like nuns in a convent, praying to the magic of the departed. But mostly he did not. Solitude was a vital need to think for Severus Snape. He only send for them, when he felt lost. Admitting that was almost as unbearable as the boys crying.

Snape looked at Harry. Even now he could hear the maddening sound of the childs nightmares as a memory. Who needed a Cruciatus spell when one had a child to look after, a special child, he added, and instantly the image of James Potter came to his mind. Insufferable git! But then a picture of Lily emerged.

He felt like weeping.

And why not? Down here, alone, nobody could see him.

So he did..

silently..

relieved... for a moment's time.

 

 

Four

 

Harry awoke.

Snape stirred What time was it? He gazed at the clock. Six already! The boy's time. How long had he been sitting here?

The shadows under the child's eyes grew lighter, Severus noticed, but for the price of his getting darker each night.  
"Come Harry, Madame Hearthwood will have prepared breakfast. We better not let her wait." Two little hands grabbed strong arms and Harry's little head leaned on his shoulder, when he carried him upstairs.

"Good Morning, Severus." the witch greeted him.

"Good Morning Maryn." he replied automatically. His eyes refused to fully open.

"Another long nightshift?" she asked.

"Yes." he was not in the mood for talking at this hour, after Merlin knew how many sleepless nights.

She understood.  
"Harry dear, what about a nice play with the kids after breakfest." she asked the boy.

Harry looked at Snape, fear showing in his eyes.

"Only a little bit. I bring you back home myself, I promise." her voice a melody of sweetness.

"It's alright, Harry. I'm here." Snape replied. It was impossible to convince a child this age of the benefits of kindergarten. All they wanted was being around the ones they loved and trusted. But his words seemed to sink in and a silent understanding arose.

The woman always marveled at that. "I don't know how you do it, Severus." she said while dressing Harry. "I've seen quite a few wonderous relations between wizards here in Craven's End but never anything like you two," and with these words she left a baffled Snape. He growled after her.

He had not asked for it, none of it, but he may as well say that to Albus Dumbledore or the wind. Fatigue struck him as soon as the boy had left. How was he supposed to wake up from this nightmare? Returnig to his bedroom he fell asleep and into a dream that finally revealed a possible solution for his problem.

 

When he woke up again the sun had already passed zenith. Damn, how long had he been asleep? He gathered his things and changed quickly. It was not too late to pay a visit to the mighty library of Hogwarts, the place of the best potions books. It was Holiday season for a week and no children near the castle. Only Dumbledore, a few teachers and Filch lived in the old masonry.

He apparated in front of the iron gates and moved quickly past Hagrid's hut, up the wild lawns. They seemed unattended for quite a time. The smell of meadow flowers and old stones mixed in a typical scent outside the castle. Snape entered the hall. His private unlocking spells still sufficed, but his head throbbed as soon as he entered the library.

Harry!

He boy obviously cried again. Snape hurried. He stalked the endless bookshelves, wand waving, highly agitated. He reached the restricted section and murmured the proper spell that counteracted the one that locked this part of the library during holiday season. Dumbledore had told him. The wretched man.

The lock clicked and the gates opened. He entered the most dangerous place of the school. Books mumbled in the deep of their holdings. The tension in the dark magic section was palpable. Snape had always wondered how the head of this school managed to assemble so much dark knowledge, and why he never feared it.

When he first had come here, Dumbledore had accompanied him, showing the young man another way of studying dark magic, instead of giving his soul to the devil named Voldemort. His left arm tickled. The dark sign felt like an open wound, always reminding him of a time of total delusion. But with Lily's death total clarity had come.

Snape commanded the books out of the shelves, hexing them, so he could not be harmed. He looked for sleeping potions. The pages were turning and turning, the man frantic, his head threatening to explode. But he knew what he was searching for, because he knew Voldemort. He needed a potion that shielded brain patterns. Snape had once brewed one against the mental intrusions of his mother. If he only could alter it, so that the boy was safe from Voldemorts wrath.

He found it. _Somnus lacunare._ Powerful potion indeed! He remembered most of the components and realised, that almost all of them already resided in his lab in Craven's End. But how, for Merlins sake, was he supposed to lay hands on a drop of _Giants weep_? Last time he had almost payed the pursuit of it with his life. But it had been worth it. His mother's tendrils of abuse could no longer reach his mind. He had found solitude at last, when he was sixteen.

 

It dawned on Snape that there would be no time to wander the mountains of the giants again. In fact, he would not dare after the last encounter with their chief, whom he only escaped, because he had poisened him with a rather obnoxious plant from his pocket. He saw faint pictures of the odd travel more than six years ago before his eyes.

Something clicked inside of him.  
The plant. He looked at the bookshelve and searched for the book "Herbalogy of Death". His father had owned one, but after his passing Snape had refused to inherit his property, and his mother had sold it to afford a comfortable life during her last years.

Anger welled inside him. His pride may cost the boy's life.

Where was the God damn book?

Snape browsed the titles. The restricted section was far more extended than he had thought. So many dangerous books. He blushed now and then, partly of shame or excitement. He had dreamed to visit this place for so long. Now he felt so overwhelmed by the sheer power of the room and its residents, that he was about to go mad.

_Concentrate, use your skills_ , he muttered to himself.

Harry! His headache was still torturing him.

Then something familiar happened. His emotions vanished and pure reason emerged to take their place. Only his heart kept throbbing like an overstreched muscle.

And then he found a shelf, where a well known shaped and coloured book came into his sight. He took it. It smelled of plant magic. Snape hastily opened the book, searching, and there it was, all gloomy and threatening. He remembered everything, including the fear of carrying something that powerful around, and knew where to find it. It was pure poison, but he read further and almost smiled in triumph. This information one could only find in this book. Brewed in a certain way it could turn a sleeping potion into the most powerful shield against magical bombardment.

Snape quickly wrote the brewing instructions down. With _Amorona_ there was no need for Giants weep nor any other forbidden ingredients. He sighed inaudibly. Snape only had to get to the centaurs leir again to retrieve the plant. It was almost as dangerous as the Giant's mountains, but there was one difference. In this region lived his only friend. He put the book back and carefully locked the restricted section again, after taking a last glance at the overwhelming greatness of the place. Snape did want to return here one day.

He stalked down the stairs, over the lawns, past Hagrid's hut. The half giant had abandoned his residence during summer, as always. Snape ignored the sight and moved right into the woods. He just walked and walked with only one thought in his mind. His head had eased down a bit, but in a far corner the pain lurked like a hunting animal. Time was about to run through his fingers, like the boy's life. He ran now, his coat ripped off and forsaken to the ground, a remnant of his departure.

Two thestrals gazed at him, slightly swinging their bony wings. Hagrid must have brought them here, Snape mused between his ever spinning thoughts. Could he find Horus again? The centauer owed him. After he had reached the border of the Hogwarts forcefield he apparated at once.


	6. Chapter 6

Five

 

He hid.

The borders were quiet. Snape watched closely and listened. The plant was not far away. He remembered the location exactly and the way. Oh, how he wished for an invisibility cloak now! The one from James Potter had mysteriously disappeared. Yes, he knew about it. More than once Potter had sneaked out of the dorm at night. Snape had witnessed it and remembered the envy. One time he had tried to snatch it, but that bastard Potter hid the cloak well. Merlin knew how often he had secretly met Lily. Snape swallowed hard and returned to the present.

He had to move on. A protection spell should help a bit against the strong centaur magic. But for how long? Horus had taught him a good one. Centaurs were excellent telepaths - but only with each other. Nevertheless, Snape raised his shields to the limit. Then he dared to go forward. He was good at sneaking silently throught he bushes, though centaurs had unmatched sensory abilities in their hooves. Nothing went unpunished. And after a few minutes on fragile ground he heard them coming.

 

They sprang out of nowhere and blocked his way. Three of them. There was no escsape. "What do you want, human?"

Snape insanely hoped, that he would not need to hurt them. He would hex them with an unforgivable curse if necessary. As a Death Eater he had proven to be capable of performing them.  
"Forgive me for intruding but I am in desperate need of a certain plant to rescue the life of a child." Snape bowed tentatively. A gesture he would not have given to anyone or because of anything. He cursed the boy with a silent hiss, but he was determined to not leave this place without the plant, or there would not be any need to return at all.

"A child?" the centaurs asked.

"Yes." Snape replied hopefully. The innnocent were one of the few weaknesses of the centaurs.

"We do not give our precious herbs to strangers, human. We do not serve you." his voice hard again.

Snape saw no alternative but to appeal to their second weakness, debt and honor. "I request to speak to one of your kind, Horus." a pause. "He is... my friend." he managed.

This was uncommon. The centaurs retreated and communicated for a moment. Snape breathed heavily, always ready to cast the deadly spell. One of them turned to Snape again.

"Wait here. Horus will come and speak." he said, and Snape exhaled barely audible. The chances of getting out of here alive had increased significantly.

 

The huge centaur appeared after a few minutes. Just the way Snape remembered him.

"Do you know this human?" one of the three questioned him. Horus came closer.

"I do." he replied.

Snape stood very still. The situation could escalate at any time.

"What is he to you?"

"I owe him my life." Horus said.

A strong, beautiful creature, proud like everyone of them. As a boy, Snape would have loved to wander the woods with him. He had admired their strength and freedom. Things he never posessed. Today he relied on magic. A suitable trade for a wizard. Physical strength was not necessarily an advantage in the magical world, if one inherited the full wizarding power.  
The centaurs quarreled. Snape feared a fight. This would get ugly. When Centaurs fought with one another then to the death. Honor meant everything to them.

"Human." one of them shouted.

Snape rose to his feet.

"You will stay here while Horus brings the requested plant. You will not move."

The man nodded.

Horus approached him. "What is it you need so direly, my friend?" he whispered. "Speak quickly, or they might change their minds."

Snape murmured his request, descending again without eyeing any of the creatures. Harry better survived this, or humiliating himself that way had been all for nothing.

The centaure nudged Snapes head in approval, a common gesture among them. The others may exiled him for nudging a stranger but the personal honor of a Centaur surpassed the pressure of Centaur society. It was their core principle. Such proud beings!  
And off he went.

Snape sat on the ground like a prisoner but he did not mind. He would crawl the carpet of Voldemort to save the boy, Lily's boy. He flinched from his own premise. But he had to admit it to be true. There was no other reason to live, to survive the excrutiating pain of Lily's loss.

 

The sun sank down mercilessly. If Horus did not return till dawn he would have to leave without the plant. Could there be another way of saving the boy? But then, an uproar rang through the woods. The centaurs, who still guarded him, listened up. Then one of them hopped away. What was going on? Snape rose to his feet.

"You stay put." the centaur demanded harshly.

Snape sat down again, surpressing the fear.

The centaure's dooming voices filled the silence of the evening. They performed the trial of reason, Snape noticed. Someone had challenged Horus decision. It was a serious battle for them. Snape could single out Horus' voice. It was high pitched. A bad sign. He was about to loose the argument. Snape quickly decided to perform a silent spell ignoring the consequences. All the centaurs watched the scene, nobody really paid attention to the wizard.

But Horus voice darkened slowly. Snape sighed.  
Then the noise abruptly died down.

"Human." the leader shouted.

Severus rose to his feet. His heart hammered against his chest.

"Horus' debt is hereby paid forever. You might go in peace. But be warned. If you ever cross our borders again, we will kill you." the centaur said.

Snape bowed. Horus handed the plant over to him nodded. Then they escorted him to the end of their territory. The man stepped over to safety not looking back until there were no hoofsounds anymore. His hand loosened the grip around the precious plant and he looked at it, exhausted. Relieve only came much later.

 

 

Six

 

Sweat dripped from the walls of Snape's lab. It was his twentyseventh try on the shield potion for Harry. Only two more leaves of the Centaurian plant, then he may as well bring the boy to Voldemort directly. Harry played with some of his toys on the ground. He had not really slept for three days and nights. Severus had no clue how the boy endured this, but obviously he managed fairly well through an otherwise unimaginable lack of sleep. At least, this way Harry was safe from the horrible nightmares. The question remained, how long he could last under the circumstances?

The man turned back to his potion. He felt like something was missing. The plant worked fine but the recipe did not produce a potion with the desired effects. Snape wished for his old potions book from school. He remembered the time of the Half-blood-Prince during his last year at Hogwarts. Snape had added so much valuable information to his book back then, that he easily passed every potion-exam with an "Outstanding". But the far greater satisfaction had been the baffled face of James Potter and his gang when Dumbledore handed him the "Graduate of the year" award. It had been the only time Snape felt worthy of the wizarding community. It had been the only time his father congratulated him on anything. Severus even remembered the faint smile on Tobias' Snapes face.

He returned to the present, abruptly. Snape frightfully looked at his potion. The color had changed to black.  
"Oh, it's ruined!" he exclaimed in frenzy.

He was useless, losing himself in the few good memories of his childhood. He wanted to slap himself. Instead he threw the cauldron in a far corner, out of the boys way.

Harry cried in panic. Snape sank down, his body trembling from frustration and exhaustion. The boys hand touched his knee. Severus got hold of it and drew the child into his embrace where Harry stopped wheeping after a few moments. Snape took comfort in his warmth and closed his eyes. He did not want to think anymore.

After a while Snape heard even breathing under his arms. The boy had gone to sleep. _Strange_ , the man thought. Harry did not pass out that easily these days. He looked at him, carefully shook him, saying his name but the boy remained sleeping. Then he spotted black stains on the boys lips and the same on his own hand. He got up at once, the boy in is arms. The potion, of course. When he threw the cauldron away his hand had caught some of the black liquid. In his rage he had not noticed. Harry must have gotten something in his mouth while crying in his arms.

He watched the child. Maybe the potion was all right, maybe he had not been waiting long enough. Whatever it was, the boy slept, and all he could do now was waiting. Would Voldemort reach the kid again? A tear passed down his left cheek. He felt so very tired. Snape thoughtfully wrapped the boy in his cape and lay down with him between the lab tables.  
Harry slept for ten hours without a sound.

 

 

Seven

 

The nights were quiet again. Snape learned that a single drop of his potion would trigger a chain reaction, combining certain ingredients of the brewed plant with the magic of the wizard's cells. It changed the energy-field of the body and reflected search spells. Simple but astonishing magic that seemed so easy from the moment he learned about it. When Snape looked back to the desperate days and nights he could not believe it. He wrote an extensive paper about the brewing and the effects. Then he hid it well in his study. Maybe one day he could share this information with the headmaster and other wizards. Now it was far too dangerous. Voldemort might find out about his success.

Snape thought of the boy, who played happily in the nursery again. The witches had honestly tried to head hunt him for their village. It actually lacked a good potions master, and he felt flattered indeed, but this success had boost his determination to protect Harry even more. There was no chance to keep him from doing that.

  
Snape had returned to Hogwarts for a few days, and he wished he could share his knowledge fully with Dumbledore but a simple "Well done" was the best he could get these days. He managed. Soon the new schoolyear would begin and he wanted to study and try harder than ever.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Five**

 

 

One

 

The next years passed in a never changing circle. Getting up early, tending to the boy, bringing him to the nursery, going to Hogwarts teaching and then returning to his second life. Snape was used to secrets, but sometimes he got so bored by the every day life of a parent _(Did he really think that dreadful word?)_ that the only excitement remained his ongoing schemes and attempts to become the DA teacher.

Dumbledore knew he wanted that post. How many valid arguments he had already brought forward, but Albus Dumbledore did not give his most dangerous position to a young Ex-Death-Eater, who secretly protected the only "weapon" against the oncoming storm of a certain wizard. A part of Snape understood and even felt safe with this knowledge. What if he really got this position? Then he actually had to face all the effects of this job. So it remained a game he played to temporarily escape the secret guardianship of a small boy, who needed an amount of protection that brought him to his limits.

Snape watched Harry growing stronger and taller each day. He had learned to endure the mood swings of a small child and found himself growing as well. He became more patient with his students, though he still only cared for the Slytherins. At least, that was what he told himself.

Harry's seventh birthday came near, and a nagging fear crept up in the young man. At this age wizards entered school and became official members of the wizard society. And the real reason why wizards made all that fuss about a simple birthday was that their body and mind entered a new level of magical force. Now it became dangerous to be around the kids without teaching them some skills to manouvre their powers.

Harry had shown some extraordinary abilities in kindergarten. He was the only one who could move a small toy from at least one meter away with his hand. He slowly realised what being a wizard meant, and Snape secretly taught him some simple mind regulations because he just feared the power of the boy would harm others.

Harry trusted him completely and hung onto Severus more than the man was comfortable with. The way he loved him burnt Snape's heart. His cries became much easier to bear than his growing affection. Madame Hearthwood proved to be a valuable mother surrogate, but the boy always felt safer with Snape. He sometimes spent a night in the Dungeons of Hogwarts to flee from the responsibility and the boy's need to be looked after. Then he could not sleep because he worried all night about Harry's well being. Snape felt trapped, wanted to run away many times but did not. When his anger towards Dumbledore grew inacceptably strong, he reminded himself of the vow he had given, and that he had not only been forced by the power of his guilt but of his love.

Lily!

Through the boy's eyes she seemed to constantly watch him. As if she were right there, alive and beautiful. Harry inherited her gentle nature, only sometimes he got as stubborn as James Potter. At least Snape got a reason to hate the child now and then. Harry started to ask for his parents, because Snape rejected the boys wish to call him father. He only accepted "Severus" and had given Harry a hard time, until he managed to say the full name, but Snape had no intention to change into a nice and loving kind of uncle, not even for Lily's son. How was he supposed to keep Harry's life a secret, when he got all soft inside from his guardianship? Voldemort would exploit this weakness in no time.

 

 

Two

 

"Severus?"

"Yes, Harry."

"I'm afraid."

Snape looked up from his desk. "There is nothing to be afraid of. Why would you say such a ridiculous thing?"

The boy abandoned his little toy figures and got up. "I don't want to leave kindergarten. Maybe the kids don't like me at school."

Snape put his pen down and looked at Harry. "You will learn what it means to be a wizard. There is no need to fear others. You better should fear to not study hard enough."

The boy flinched, and Snape realised he had been too harsh with him. He heard the familiar voices of the witches in his mind. Of course, it was not about his intelligence nor his abilities. Fear was a constant companion of the boy. A fear that Snape knew too well. Maybe that was the reason he refused hearing him say things like that.

"Does it hurt?" Harry asked.

"What do you refer to?"

"Becoming a wizard?"

Snape gasped. Of course, it was about the upcoming ritual. But the question opened a whole can of feelings inside Snape regarding the subject, he would rather leave untouched. Nobody had answered any of these questions when Severus was a boy, but he could feel the pain and fear inside the child, as if they were his very own. Snape hesitated, because he wanted to answer the question as honestly and thouroughly as possible.  
His fists slightly clenched. He searched for suitable words. "Do you rememeber the nightmares?" Snape asked cautiously.

"Yes." the boy whispered.

"And do you remember the moment when you summoned a toy from far away for the first time?"

"Yes!" the boys eyes glowed for a moment.

"Could you... deal with both situations?"

"Yes, I could." Harry said, not really comprehending what his guardian was trying to say.  
Snape closed the distance between them.

"Sometimes it hurts being a wizard, Harry, sometimes it's very exhilerating. Life can't always be kindergarten." It was the best Snape could think of right now. The almost seven year old boy did not fully understand, but Snape would not lie to him. In a strange way he trusted the child. He would adapt. He had to, or Voldemort would crush him while Snape was put between them.

_You are his shelter._

He felt the weight of these words, but the last years had dissolved most of its terror. His ever growing compassion towards the kid was much harder to deal with.

"There is no need to worry, Harry," Snape said, his face desperately trying to maintain the unreadable mask it was used to be. Then he managed to add: "I will assist you in every way I can."

"You promise?" the boys eyes filled with tears.

"I promise." Severus replied. But Harry could not keep the tears from falling.

Snape fetched a tissue from his pocket. "Always."

 

 

three

 

It was a day to remember.

Harry was brought to Dumbledore. Minerva McGonagall, Hagrid and Snape performed the ancient ritual of ascension. Every seven year old child had to attend this ceremony in order to receive the "marking". It helped to focus the new forming wizarding energies. Usually it was the task of family members, but every wizard could be a master of ceremony if neccessary. So the only four people in Hogwarts who knew that Harry Potter still existed encircled him now.

He stood, eyes closed and was held only by silver strings emerging from the wands of his masters. Dumbledore constantly murmured spells. It sounded like a religious litany, and in some way that was what it was all about. Wizards would not refer to it as GOD but as the Magic, which they were luckily able to use directly.

Muggles had forgotten about magic and lost their power over it.

The magic Harry had felt growing inside of him during the last weeks seemed to dissolve into every part of his body. His arms and legs felt energetically renewed, and his mind rose to a new kind of alertness. Fear welled up from the sudden sensations, but Harry remembered Severus' words. All his senses felt hightened, except one. Harry's eyesight remained as bad as it had always been. A heritage of his father.

Then he slept four hours straight. Snape never left his side. It was a dangerous sleep for a wizard. The man hoped he would not need another shield potion. The "marking" meant, that the wizarding world got informed of new wizards growing into their society. The danger that Voldemort directly learned of Harry's existence had increased indefinitely. But nobody could prevent Harry from becoming a full wizard. His safety had been bought only for a couple of years. And the more Snape could teach and protect him, the greater grew the chances of saving not only the wizarding world but the world of Muggles as well.

 

 

Four

 

“Uncomfortable“ was the understatement of the century.

Severus Snape felt something far worse, while he sat in the crowded classroom among all the other parents, who beamed proudly over the achievments of their children, while the class teacher gave a report of the first weeks in school.  
He did not specificly mention anything about Harry, fortunately. Speaking one word might let Snape die of shame. This kid had thrown him in hell more than once, but this exceeded every previous feeling of humiliation he had experienced so far.

"Why a muggle school?" he had asked Dumbledore. And some of the old man's arguments sounded way too familiar in the young man's ears. As a child Snape had to endure the agony of being an outcast among clueless muggles himself, until the age of eleven never being allowed to perform a simple spell. His father had insisted. It would mould his character, Tobias Snape had said. All it did to Snape was increasing the disgust and hate towards his parents but also the longing for the salvation of love and belonging.

"We need to keep him from our world as long as possible, at least until he has to enter Hogwarts." Dumbledore had said.  
Snape felt at a loss. What was the old man thinking? Why hiding Harry in Craven's End in the first place?  
"There are other ways of hiding a wizard than veiling him under Merlins protection, Severus."

As if this would clear things up in the young man's mind.

Dumbledore explained it to him. "After the marking Voldemort knows of the boy's existence. He can look for him much easier than before, but Harry's new powers will mingle with the powers of his protectors from the ceremony, so the Dark Lord can't locate him. This also means, his shelter isn't limited to a certain place anymore."

This was good news, though Snape still could not fully return to Hogwarts. It pained him more than ever. He wanted to be more than a guardian and a random teacher again. When Harry entered school, the wanting increased.

For now Snape had to sit here, clad into ordinary black clothes to fit at least a bit among these people. The lack of comfort of his usual garments had turned his whole body into a stiff pole. In his mind he thought of all the unspeakable things he wanted to do to Dumbledore, Harry and these ridiculous muggles around him. But Snape managed, like Harry. He did not want the boy to be stronger than himself. Not yet.

 

 

Five

 

The first year went well.

Harry carefully obeyed the commands of his guardian. He was too afraid of being detected. Snape saw to it. But during his first summer holidays from school Harry changed. He started to speak up to Snape more and more. At first Snape thought it was just about being a kid trying to fit into his peer group. Harry wanted things the kids owned, and he had to get along with them. But Snape noticed an unrest in the boy. He also kept more to himself than usual, and his face displayed a sadness deep down in his soul, where Snape would not reach him.

The man let him, just observing, but through the next year the Harry, Snape used to know, vanished almost completely. One day he roamed the boy's room, hoping to find anything that could explain the boy's retreat. The witches had urged him to investigate. They still kept an eye on the boy, though both had already left Craven's End and lived now in a Wizard town near the muggle school. It was a rather large city that looked very ordinary from outside, but when the concealing spells were removed, it could easily compete with the early industrial settlements of 19th century England. Just without the dirt. Snape had insisted on the sparse location, because he felt comfortable there with the plain but melancholic colours.

He swept the room for any sign, that would lead to the boy's change. But there was nothing. And what was he supposed to find? Harry's spells were superior to children of his age, but without a wand they remained harmless. Snape remembered a board in school where the kids got warned about drugs and bullying. His heart beat faster and denial formed in it. He so did not want to deal with this. All his painful memories emerged from the black pits of his unconcious mind. Scenes so violent that he gasped for air. School had been like hell to Severus Snape.

And Potter! He had been the worst.

What if the famous Harry Potter lived through the very same endurement? Would that not have been ironic or even a gratification for Snape's pain, he mused absently. But there was no such thing. Nothing would take away the pain of his childhood. There was no redemption as much as there was no cure for the desease he had brought about the boy's family and about himself. The least he could do was share Harry's misery.

Snape woke from the thoughts as if they had reminded him of his mission again. He had to protect the boy from whatever threat. And right now Harry needed him very badly.

*

Autumn had vanished, and the evenings grew long and silent again. Harry would not speak, and Snape decided to try something that might lure him out of his shell.

"I will see you in my study, Harry." he said calmly but sternly.

The boy flinched as if expecting another lecture on behaving like a muggle but thinking like a wizard. He trodded off and Severus prepared for the worst conversation he was about to have with Harry so far. He wanted the boy to trust him and now was a crucial time for it. The boy grew, and Severus Snape had to grow with him whether he liked it or not. How could he earn his trust on the brink of his puberty? By not treating him like a small child anymore. It was the only way.


	8. Chapter 8

Six

 

After dinner they met.

Snape watched him very closely. He surveyed every inch of his body for unsusual changes, his aura for treacherous flickers and his eyes. He startingly realized how much he had avoided looking into them lately. He also realized why. Their light grew more blinding each day. But what was that? They seemed to have dimmed as if the green had turned a bit greyish, and a premonition dawned on him.

_Damn the boy!_ Severus begged silently he would be wrong.

Snape strengthened and gestured towards Harry to sit down. The boy obeyed.

"Have you ever wondered why you really live with me?" Snape asked, listening to the trembling of his own voice. He stiffened further, contracting all the muscles of his body to maximum. He feared so much to fall apart right in front of the child, that he had to brace himself though he did not even stand on his feet.

"Because my family is dead..." Harry lowered his gaze. "...all of them." And, as if a mask was about to slip from his face, he pressed one hand to his eyes.

Snape's heart took some extra leaps that he had to hold on to his desk even more, but the boy's desperation shook him out of his childish self pity. He managed to speak with an even voice.  
"Yes, Harry, but why me of all people?" Severus asked further.

The boy was about to weep. Snape gritted his teeth. He hated Harry's tears. They reminded him too much of his own and now was not the time for them.  
"Do you?"

"No, Sir." Harry whispered.

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes, Sir."

"I don't believe you."

Harry looked up, questions in his eyes and fear.

Fear of being detected? Snape wondered.  
"You know how dangerous it can be to keep secrets between us?" the man questioned further.

Harry nodded.

"Is there a secret I should know about?" Snape asked.

Harry resumed staring to the ground again, his breath shallow against the thick air of the room. At least the tears were held at bay, for now.

"I do not know why you keep so private lately, but surely there is something troubling you." Snape said.

Harry remained silent.

Severus inhaled deeply and got up. He turned to face the window. He could feel the boy was about to slip away from him, so he maybe had to step out of the dark, take a risk. Severus struggled. And although he thought he had prepared himself for the worst, for telling the truth, it still felt too soon.

"I loved your mother, Harry." Severus said, still facing the window of his study.

He paused waiting for a reply, waiting for his heart to calm down, so he could continue. The room remained silent.  
"Her love protected you. When your mother died, this protection descended to the next living person who loved her. And since your father and all your remaining family died as well, I became the most suitable guardian for you." now he turned, slowly.

Harry stared at him.

_These eyes!_

Snape held the boys gaze heroicly. And then something unexpected happened. Suddenly, Severus Snape did not see Lily's eyes anymore.

Those belonged to Harry. Their glow radiated all kinds of feelings but most of all, love.

Snape's mask slowly melted away, although his face remained as steady as it could be. Something became absolutely clear between them. An understranding and closeness was revealed in this very moment, and a strange calm arose inside the man.

Severus Snape could let go.

Lily may had always beeen his primary motivator, but her memory dimmed in the light of his relationship with Harry Potter.  
The fear and need to force Harry to admit his secret waned. Instead he heard himself say:  
"I trust you to decide whether it's important to tell me or not. If you cannot tell me now, you are free to leave."

The boy was still stunned, but eventually he got up and heading to he door, turning once more towards Snape, befuddledly watching him before he left.

Yes, Harry's eyes.

Severus felt relief. He fetched a picture from the drawer and had to sit down for a moment, looking at the moving image of Lily. To share his most dear and painful secret with Harry had set him free.

 

 

Seven

 

_He wandered through a house with endless corridors, each packed with rooms and rooms to no end. The man was looking for something, but did not remember what it was. He ran out of time because the house was about to collapse. Fire had already consumed the lower corridors and soon threatened to eat the man alive. If he only could find what he was searching for. Between the cracking of flames he heard a faint growl, that rose from howling into a high pitched sound. He ran even faster, not sure whether he tried to escape from or find the source of it. Then he understood. Someone cried for help. It all made sense now. The man ripped the doors open. Why could he just not force them all open at once with his magic? There was not enough time! The sound swell to a terrible scream, that tore his soul apart. Snape woke at once._

Pitch black darkness greeted him. A storm hauled outside, and the rain lashed against his open window. He hopped out of bed, closing it. But the noise would not cease. He still heard the scream.  
Harry!  
Snape stalked through the corridor to the boy's room, tearing the door open. Cries of agony thundered from the bed. The man hurried to his side, picking up the shaking form, trying to wake him.

"You can't have me!" the boy uttered, and for a terrible moment Snape thought that he spoke to him.  
"He won't let you."

Snape dragged the boy into his arms. "Harry, it's me, Severus, wake up!"

Harry's head rolled restlessly in the man's arms. "No! No!"

Snape painfully remembered the horrific nights six years ago, when Voldemort had almost killed the boy just by disturbing his dreams. It all washed back in an instant.

"Harry, wake up!" Snape began to pace the room with the crying child, but all he managed was to calm the screaming to a certain degree. He left the room to fetch a strong sleeping potion of his own making. He put some drops into Harrys mouth.  
Sleep came back, though it was shallow. Snape sat beside his bed, exhausted, until morning. All he could hope for was that the boy started to talk to him again.

 

Harry had caught a fever, and so both got the chance of spending some time together. Snape would abandon his usual work, though he had plenty. Christmas was due, and the soon-to-be-holiday papers demanded his attention, but the boy was more important. Snape would do nightshifts if neccessary.

Harry slept half of the next day. Severus stayed close, open doors to the next room. The Mediwitch from Craven's End had sent some fever potions, but Snape doubted they would really work. The boy's fever was of a different magical nature. This kind of stress always raised heat inside the boy, as if his body tried to burn the problems. How about this time?

Snape entered the room and changed the towel on Harry's head. The boy seemed restless, half asleep, half awake. He murmured something, and at first Snape did not pay attention to it. But while rearranging the wet clothes he suddenly realised that the boy did not just stammer in fever he spoke... Parsel?

The man recoiled. Adrenalin flooded his system and suddenly he badly wanted to flee the house. But he could not move. Harry kept murmuring, and Snape cursed himself, because he had no clue what the boy was saying. He needed Dumbledore, right now!

 

The headmaster apparated a few minutes later, listening to Harrys murmur.  
"It is Parsel, Severus." he confirmed worriedly.

"Voldemort?" the young man asked.

"Yes, but this has already been passed on to Harry when Voldemort scarred him." he said without taking his eyes off the child.

Snape's mouth dropped open. "When did you plan to inform me about this?"

"I didn't know until now, Severus. I always feared what abilities Voldemort had involuntarily passed on to him. Parsel was one of it, but I couldn't know until now." And he did not ever want to.

"Harry is hiding something." Snape said.

Dumbledore turned to face the man.

"I don't know what it is yet, but I think he tries to protect me by not telling."

"Voldemort?" asked Dumbledore.

The young man nodded. "I'm afraid that he is intruding his mind again." He absently touched the boys head. "I have tried everything." then shame overwhelmed him. "Yesterday I even told him the truth... about me and his mother." Snape lowered his gaze.

"That was very brave, Severus." Dumbledore said softly.

Some relief calmed his tense body. "I was afraid he'd close up completely. I still am."

Dumbledore understood. His young friend needed help and a Parsel speaking child was not his only problem.

"Every parent experiences this kind of fear, Severus. When children keep to themselves and go their own way."

"I am no parent!" Snape insisted coldly.

Dumbledore smiled. "I know, but no matter how you call it, you are. Your heart is."

Snape breathed heavily. The boy had caught him, and he felt all these ridiculous emotions about losing him, fearing for his health, fearing for his soul. Oh, damn boy!

 

Snape was furious. "Has it crossed your brilliant mind that this fever might be more than a whim of puberty or cutting the cord?" Snape reminded Dumbledore but curled his mouth in disgust when he realised he was in fact talking like a parent.

Dumbledores features darkened. "You are right, forgive me." he looked to the boy again. "Does he trust any of the witches? May he talk to one of them?"

"No." Snape answered. "Only me. He'd rather die than revealing anything to someone else."

"Did he tell you that?"

Snape hesitated. "As a matter of fact, I raised him this way." Something he usually was proud of but which seemed rather inconvenient right now.

"I see." Dumbledore said and mused about the faith he had in the young man. "Maybe I need to involve myself more into his life. Maybe now is the time to place trust in more than one wizard in this matter."

Snape had listened to the words, but all he could feel was nagging self doubt. Did he fail?

"You did great so far, Severus, I still trust you. Maybe the boy starts talking to you. Keep me informed, at any time, do you hear me?" Dumbledore urged.

"I will, headmaster." Snape replied.

"My sister used to have fevers like these. They only cool off by releasing the stress that caused them." the old man said absent minded.

Snape inhaled. "Thank you, headmaster." and nodded.

Dumbledore disapparated.

Snape cursed the man, worried about the boy, hating everything. He paced the house, futily trying to occupy his mind with other matters. Then he caved in and wept, half an hour long, locked inside his study, tears wetting the moving image of Lily Potter.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a bit mad at myself because I've forgotten to add the last chapter of Part I yesterday. So here it is and the first chapter of Part II. That way you won't have to wait another day for what happens next. :-)  
> I hope you all stay with me, because things start to get strange. (I hope in a good way)

**Chapter six**

 

"Father?"

"It's me, it's Severus."

"Father?"

"I'm here."

"He wants to hurt me."

"I won't let him. Trust me?"

"He hates me."

"I am protecting you."

"He will take me, father."

"He will have to take me first, Harry."

 

*

 

The child was sound asleep, and the man lay beside him. The fever had cooled off after two more days and nights.

They had talked, in dreams. Snape had no clue how it had worked out, and he still did not really know what was troubling the boy. Somehow they communicated through a mental bond that only worked by letting Harry call him "father". Snape never directly answered it, but the boy seemed fine with believing it. The man had caught images now and then, sometimes pictures of terror that even frightened him, people screaming in agony, fire and always lightning bolts thrusted by powerful wands. By one powerful wand, to be precise. It was Voldemort. He searched for the boy and Snape could not tell whether it was really the Dark Lord looking for Harry or just a dream of a frightened kid.

 

Snape taught again. The days in Hogwarts did not provide the usual comfort because the man was restless. Harry was in Craven's End again for recovery. The witches tried their best, but the boy would just keep to himself. Snape took him home every afternoon, but all the boy did, was asking when he could go to school again. Harry avoided his gaze, and Snape could not do anything but accepting the boy's decision.  
After a week back in school Harry disappeared.

 

 

 

 

PART 2  
You are winter

 

Chapter 1

 

One

 

He woke up, and when he rose automatically his head drummed painfully against... Against what?

Harry ascended into conciousness and looked around. Where was he? He saw even patterns descending in front of him, like stairs but from behind. He was sitting in a cupboard! He instantly thought of dreaming and panic seized him so suddenly, he could not think straight.

Voices.

Harry stopped. He was not alone. Maybe, when he kept very quiet, they would go away. But instead they crept nearer. A woman's voice. She called for someone.

"Dudley, honey, come down."

Harry shrank back, not remembering the name at first. A rumble came from upstairs, and then Harry's little hiding place was shaking. The stairs threatened to cave in, when a huge boy aggressively hopped them down. He returned about three times shouting and ranting.

"Hey cousin, come out! Come out!"

Then he rattled Harry's door, and the boy was more frightened than he had ever been in his life. The huge kid thrusted the little door open, and for a moment Harry feared it might break apart. There he was! He pushed Harry back the moment he had smashed the door and headed towards another room.

"Harry Potter, get your miserable self out here. We need breakfast."

And that was the moment Harry drew the connection. He was in the house of his mothers' sister and her family, except, they were all supposed to be dead.

 

 

Two

 

He still believed to be dreaming, at least, until he had absolut proof for the contrary. Harry decided to play along with the dream, so he just sprang out of the little jail and entered the living room. He gasped. All the room was filled with a huge pile of presents. He spotted his aunt and she looked indeed like the woman from the picture that Severus had shown him. Harry was good with faces. They illuminated when he looked at them and burned into his memory like nothing else.

She looked at him with dismay, much different as she looked at her son. Harry tried to read the room as fast as possible, but it was not as easy as he was used to it. His eyes did not work right.

"And how do you think you'll prepare a proper meal without your glasses, mister?" a stern piggyish voice asked from another corner. Harry froze. This voice must belong to Vernon Dursley, he thought.

Glasses? Since when did he need glasses? He never wore glasses in dreams.

Harry lowered his head and returned to the cupboard. There they lay, neatly folded on a sidebench. He took them and saw, they once were broken and now crudly mended. They were ugly. And then he looked down at his body. His clothes gave a sad expression - huge, dirty trousers, an even bigger shirt, grey and messy. But he took the glasses and returned to the kitchen, playing along.

"Will you ever make breakfast, Potter?" the aunt asked but without turning to him. She only had eyes for Dudley.

Harry was an eight year old boy in a bad dream. How was he supposed to make breakfast? All he knew was home, where breakfast was made by elves, mysteriously appearing on the table. He tried to remember the afternoon at school where the pupils had a cooking lesson. Easy stuff. Scrambled eggs. Harry recalled the experience fondly. In fact he had been amazed by the simple transformation of a transparent egg-glibber into a tasteful meal just by heating it. If he only could remember. But very soon he realised that a wizard never bothered with such questions, and although he was not a full wizard yet, he already could "do" things. So the conversation began.

_How is it done?_ He asked, and then he could miraculously observe how his hands and arms moved by themselves, preparing what muggles considered a proper breakfast. He talked to the food, the machines and the oven.

It all went too well, in fact. But that was a dream, was it not? Harry often dreamed about being a full wizard and saving the world or similar things. These dreams were delightful. The other ones scared him to death. He better not remember them. The Dursleys seemed content, though they only assigned him a plate with the leftovers and send him to clean the dishes afterward.

The day flew by in a haze. Harry always expected it to end, but it never did. No Voldemort interrupting nor his guardian, Severus, who always appeared when he dreamed badly. Now this dream was different. Harry did not know yet why, but maybe he would find out. So he tried to adapt to all the strange new places.

The family went to a zoo, and although they seemed hostile and cold, he felt like an ordinary boy for a few hours. And for some reason he liked it. The evening dawned, and Harry was sent to the bathroom to clean. Well, that was common, so he did. He stripped his clothes off and looked into the large bathroom mirror.

A gasp escaped his mouth.

What was that? He watched his body closely. During the day he had not paid much attention to it but now he could see it clear and unmistakably. Little black hair was growing around his testicles. And his penis? Harry looked closer. It was bigger than he remembered it. He examined the rest of his body. Hair sprang from other places though still sparsly. But he definitely had changed. His feet. Had they grown, too?

Harry exit the room and went back to his little place. Uncle Vernon closed it without a Good night, and the boy suddenly felt stored away to the farthest place of the world. He was alone, altered into half a man (at least that was how it felt) and all he could hope for was to fall asleep and never to return to this dream.

 

 

Three

 

When he woke up at the same spot in the morning, Harry realised something major had happened. He did not live in a dream but in a different reality. There was no other explanation. And as if that was not bad news alone, he also seemed to have entered another time. He had quickly learned that he was about to turn eleven in the next days. Adapting to this sudden leap into pre-puberty was the hardest. It was even harder than behaving like the Harry the people of this reality knew.

The Dursleys pretended that Harry was no wizard and maybe it was true here. He had not found the right time to ask about his parents, yet, and to find out why the Dursleys still lived, let alone why he was with them and not with Severus.

Severus. He missed him so badly. He missed the world of magic. And although in his world a dangerous wizard threatened his life, the boy rather wanted to die than to be damned forever to a life without magic.

Harry tried to fit into an ugly school they sent him to with damaged kids. The way this world treated him was the way he felt inside - lost, totally abandoned. Like a broken toy that Dudley had thrown away. One evening he summoned all his courage and asked aunt Petunia about his parents.

"Harry Potter, I don't know what this is all about now, and why you pretend not remembering what we told you about a dozen times." she said angrily. "They are dead, you stupid boy, killed in a car accident. And don't you bother me again. Go make dinner." Her look had darkened, and Harry spotted a hint of grief in her eyes. Why would she be so cold to him, so angry while talking about her sister, about his parents?

Harry felt numb. He did as he was told.

_In a car accident._

No words about her and his father being magicians, he mused while preparing the food. To what kind of world had he come to? Really a world without wizards? Was he the only one now? The loneliness increased to levels he could not even conceive of so far. He did not know how long he could endure this kind of suffering. At least in his world he had been taken care of, though Severus was the strictest and most unforgiving guardian one could imagine. Still Harry loved the man. Snape had always protected him.

In the night he tossed his thougts to and fro whether to leave this place and go searching for his kin or just enduring another day in this terrible home. After a few days in the house of the Dursleys being an ordinary boy did not feel so great anymore, although they were his real family. He longed for the family of his world.

 

His birthday promised to go unnoticed. The Dursleys kept him as a kind of slave, an inferior being, much like wizards treated their houseelves, he painfully realised. A creature who had no right to celebrate birthdays. If Harry ever returned to his world again, he would make sure that the elves would be treated properly. But for now his world seemed as far away and unreal as a dream. Harry feared someday he might forget that he had ever lived in it.

 

 

four

 

"You are a wizard, Harry." the big hairy giant said. He had introduced himself as Hagrid after breaking the door to the small cottage, where the Dursleys had brought all the family. They wanted to escape from the countless letters delivered on Harrys 11th birthday by what seemed to be the owldom of the whole world.

Now Harry looked into two lovely, doggy eyes and listened to the sweet timbre of the giant's voice, and it felt like vibrations from the realm he was so well aware of and had feared to never enter again. Harry listened to Hagrid's words in astonishment. He learned that he was a pupil of the magic world now and would enter Hogwarts school of Wizardry and Witchcraft. It was like a dream, again.

Excitement mixed with plain horror, when he thought of meeting his guardian soon. What would the Snape of this world be like? And was there a slight chance to return to his world again? Would he stilll have to face Voldemort around here?

 

It all happened in a trance. The Hogwarts Express was impressive, the boats to the castle, the sorting hat, which had appointed him to Gryffindor, but that was nothing compared to the new friend he had found, the red haired Ronald Weasley and some new enemies.

But then the most exciting moment followed when supper had been served and Harry watched the teachers' table. There he was, clad all in black, long black hair and a face of stone. Harry's heart took a leap, and for a moment he feared to break out in tears. Returning to this world of his was overwhelming already, but finding an exact copy of his guardian at the Hogwarts table was almost too much for him.

They exchanged looks, and Snape wondered what it was about the boy until he realised, it was Potter's son. The boy who lived. All at once he felt his innards crawl upside down, hate wallowing up. The past had caught up to him once more. His new nemesis had arrived. He would teach Harry Potter what it meant to be a celebrity in the hands of his potion teacher. So many years ahead where he could punish the boy for every reason that might come up.

He had not seen Harry's eyes, yet.

Harry did not know about the man's animosities. He rather wondered how he could get close to him, talk to him, hoping he could make everything all right.

 

 

Five

 

The first Potions lessons were a nightmare. Snape seemed to pick on the boy, asking all kinds of questions Harry could barely answer. At least, he knew what Wolfsbane was, since Harry had secretly watched Severus fixing the potion for the werewolfs. He had caught him back then. At first his guardian had been furious, but then he taught him a bit about the ingredients.

The Severus of this world did not know Harry at all, but he seemed to hold a grudge against him that went far beyond mere aquaintance. How on earth was he supposed to ask him for help?

Harry began to like Hogwarts. His friends Ron and Hermione nurtured his lonely soul. He was thrown into wild adventures and took his first steps in the wizarding world. This was so much more than he could have hoped for. The muggle school felt like death compared to the magic world he had entered again. And he could barely remember Craven's End. He had been so young. It was only Severus he missed.

All pupils hated Snape. He behaved as if he was made of stone, closed to others, cold faced, but Harry felt a bit like home. His Severus was equally unforgiving and had always made sure, he was not one of his kin. Harry was only eleven years old but he could still sense the love burning inside this man. And although he did not manage to talk to Snape in the first year he took great comfort by feeling connected to the unreachable figure.

As much as Harry loved being back to any kind of magical world he also had to face the fact, that Voldemort was a part of it again, and he wanted the boy as much as he had wanted him in Harry's old life. During the summer he returned to the Dursleys where he felt strangely safe but lonely and terribly sad. He had to overcome his fear and talk to Snape somehow, though he did not know how.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter two**

 

One

"Severus." the old man whispered. "You can't hide in here forever." he laid a hand on his shoulder.

Snape had stayed in bed for twelve days now since the boy had disappeared.

"It was not your fault, Severus."

The man did not respond. He had been unable to talk for the last days as if any word might shatter what remained of his world, his life. The pain was unbearable.

The old man just sat down, keeping his hand on the frail body and Snape was grateful for it. Dumbledore murmured sleeping spells and when the tense muscles relaxed against his hand, he disapparated.

 

 

Two

 

I have searched the deserts and mountains,

the oceans and the woods,

I have called your name a thousand times

but no one answered.

I have cried so many tears

filling the empty pits of all the world.

I have sat in silence for eternity,

unmoving, dead inside.

My love

into what world have you dissappeared?

Why don't you answer my prayer?

 

Severus woke at five. He blinked into the grey mist of early hours and got slowly up. Sleep had eluded him half of the night, but he managed. Like every morning he stepped outside his house whispering the same spells.

He asked for the most precious he had ever beheld. Searching spells echoed from the walls of the houses in Spinners End, dancing with the wind up in the sky, penetrating every structure. Then he waited, like each morning, for an answer. But it never came.

The man went back inside. It was the 9th birthday of the boy and Snape lit a candle much against his usual habit. It warmed his heart a little, which felt frozen since the day Harry had disappeared.

Severus watched the flame absently. The last year had shaken him to the core, the feeling of failure swallowing him whole. During the first weeks he had barely left the house he had moved into after Harry's disappearance, let alone teaching in Hogwarts. Fortunately, Dumbledore had saved him once more, by telling people at Hogwarts that Snape was just very ill and needed an extended rest. Nobody had shed a tear over him, they probably still celebrated his abscence. Snape did not care.

The young man had taken his time to really start mourning Lily's death. When he did not stay at home, he visited the grave in Godric's Hollow and talked to her. The pain would not diminish, but he learned to live with it. He apologized for failing her, for failing the boy, and over time he began to realise that there were greater forces who had stolen the people he cared for.

But he refused to give up the boy. Everyday he promised to Lily that he would find and save him from the Dark Lord. It was like a mantra to keep him in this world. With his last breath he would call out his name.

Snape returned to the house, absently retrieving the "Daily Prophet" from his doorsteps when he heard the faint voice.

_Mum_

He froze and listened carefully. It clearly was a child's voice. A very familiar one. He ran into the parlor and shouted:

"HARRY!"

Then silence again. The boy was nowhere to be seen. Snape almost believed he had finally lost his mind.

 

 

Three

 

After another two years of mostly travelling the world in a futile attempt to find the boy, Snape started to teach again. Hogwarts comforted the hurt and burdened ones with unmatched devotion. The dungeons soothed his temper, when pupils wrecked his nerves. The endless corridors with their numerous rooms, secret doors and moody ghosts spoke to him in their own way, providing him with comfort in every possible way.

He would not have admitted it until the day a ghost spoke of the boy.

Snape sat in his study, correcting the boring papers of first graders. Their work was simple and innocently ignorant. Snape hated them all, not for their ignorance but for being there at all, while his boy, while Harry, should be among them but his seat was empty.

Yes, today was supposed to be Harrys first day at Hogwarts, and Snape had feared to break down in front of the entire school, while the sorting hat called the new pupils into the four houses. Instead, his face remained a stone mask, while a raging fire burned inside of him. Three years had passed, but today the pain of loss felt as fresh as on the day the boy had disappeared.  
The walls of Snape's room shimmered from the cracking fire in front of him that made the only sound down here, when a voice rose from a distant.

_"He is here."_

The man froze and dropped his quill. The fire kept sizzling unperturbed. With his left hand he secretly fetched the wand from his pocket and cast a revealing spell only with his mind, but nothing happened.

_"Hurry"_

Snape rose instantly. The voice was unfamiliar. "Who are you? Reveal thyself!" And his wand whirled around, as if he wanted to fight the veiled intruder with a sword.

_"Harry"_

Harry? Snape fell backwards.  
"Where is he?" he asked shakingly.

_"He doesn't know. But he is here."_

"WHERE IS HE?" Snape screamed, but the voice remained silent now.  
The fire cracked a rather large log and Snape returned to the present.  
Had he hallucinated over his grief? For a moment, he was not sure.

 

 

Four

 

Harry woke up in a dimly lit room on a couch. Were was he? He looked down at his body and froze. When was he? He missed not only the usual morning erection, not that he minded, but he seemed smaller as well. And where did he get these pyjamas?

He heard footsteps.

They came closer. Harry had no time to wonder about his appearance, because everything happened so fast. He forgot about his penis and gasped when the door flew open. It was Professor Snape...

...who fainted as soon as he realised, who sat on his couch.

Harry hurried towards him. What should he do? He touched him. He needed help, but how should he get some if he did not know what happened? "Professor Snape?" he asked.

More foorsteps. "Severus?" a woman's voice. Harry hid behind the couch.

A young woman entered the room, rushing to Snape's side. She fetched a wand and murmured a spell when Snape finally woke up again.

"What happened?" she asked.

The man was blinking the confusion away. "I don't know," feeling around the room. "It's all right," he said getting up. "You don't need to come here every time I see a ghost."

Harry's eyes widened. A ghost? He felt as real as ever, though he had no clue what just happened.

"If you insist." the woman replied with a hint of annoyance and left the room.

 

"You can come out now." Snape said and Harry's heart sank. How did he know? But he obeyed.

Snape stood very still, watching the boy as if he had not seen him for a long time.

"Who are you?" Severus asked.

"Harry Potter, sir." he answered truthfully.

Snape came closer. The boy may be older than he remembered but he still looked like Harry.

The boy sensed a magic tendril reaching for his mind. "Stop that, you have no right."

"You are not Harry Potter!" Snape hissed "Reveal yourself, imposter!" He pointed his wand towards the boy.

Harry was stunned. How could he possibly convince his teacher that he was real?  
"Where am I?" Harry asked.

"What do you mean? At my house, and I want to know how you got here?" Snape said, befuddled.

"This is your house?" Harry wondered.

Snape lowered his wand, sensing at least genuine confusion in his counterpart. "Where have you been before you woke up here?" Snape asked.

"I was at Hogwarts, just starting my third year?"

"Your third year? You do not look like a third grader."

"I didn't until I woke up on your couch. I look like eleven again." Harry said, remembering the first time he had entered Hogwarts two years ago.

Snape was thinking fast. All he wanted was to embrace the boy but this was not the Harry he missed. There was no reasonable explanation for this situation.

"Come to my lab, Potter. We will see if we shed some light to all of this."

 

 

Five

 

"A time traveller?" Dumbledore asked, looking into the familiar, yet foreign eyes.

"There is more. I have tested him for all kinds of masked spells. He is not the Harrry I raised." Snape said.

Harry looked up. "You? Raising me?" he said unbelievingly. "Why would you do that? You hate me. The Dursleys raised me. Well, when I say raised..."

Dumbledore came closer. "The Dursleys?"

"Yes!" Harry said.

Dumbledore turned towards Snape. "You were right."

Severus thought about what Harry had said. "I hate you?"

"I don't know what's going on Sir. All I know is, that you all behave strangely, and I have no clue why." Harry felt numb.

Dumbledore took his arm. "What is the last thing you remember?"

"I was preparing for sleep. In fact, Ron read me a poem he had written for a girl he had met during the holidays." Harry smiled when he reimagined the picture. "Though it sounded more like an Ode to Hermione. Then I fell asleep and woke up on this couch."

Dumbledore turned away, deep in thought. "Whoever sent you may have taken our Harry to your world?" he finally said.

Harry and Snape stared at the headmaster simultaniously.

"That means he is, we all are, in great danger." Dumbledore concluded.

 

 

Snape sat in front of Harry who clearly was uncomfortable around him. They ate in silence until Harry could not bear it anymore.  
"Why would you raise me of all people?" he asked.

Snape flinched. "I cannot give you this information. I don't know what will happen if I do." he answered.

"I may look like eleven, sir, but in my mind I'm thirteen, you know. I'm not stupid." Harry said.

"I know." Snape replied and resumed eating his soup.

"Do you hate me in this world, too?" Harry asked bluntly.

Severus felt caught off guard, carefully evaluating the implication if he answered this question truthfully, then he said: "He does not hate you, Harry. Take my word for it." In fact, there was no world where he could really hate Harry Potter, but for now, this was all Snape was able to reveal.

"What happened to my parents in this world, Professor?" he asked.

Snape looked up. "They were killed, by Voldemort." he said, his face remaining calm.

Harry felt a sting because the truth was spoken out loud. So, there was no world where they could have each other. He fell silent.

Later in the evening they just sat together. Harry had agreed to spend time with the Professor. Snape had said, it would mean a great deal to him just to be in his presence. Harry had no choice anyway. Dumbledore had made clear, that Snape was the best protection right now. So he may as well sit with him. Surprisingly, Harry slowly relaxed and an unknown comfort rose from his teacher's presence.

_He does not hate you._

 

Snape could not sleep. It was just not possible in the presence of Harry Potter. All his long stored emotions about the boy surfaced at once, finally demanding salvation.

Harry slept soundly. Eventually, he had drifted into sleep on the couch he had woken up. Harry wondered what had happened in this world that Snape mourned his disappearance after all this time.

 

Dumbledore decided that Harry should go to Hogwarts like the other Harry would have done. He was not happy about it, because inside he was thirteen and two years ahead of his classmates here. Would there be a Ron? He would not meet him on the train. Would the sorting head choose him for Slytherin? Harry was not happy at all.

Still, it was better to be in Hogwarts than Spinner's End all the time. As long as he had to stay in this world he'd rather be with his friends. So, the next day he met Ron and Hermione again.

 

 

Six

 

They were all so young. Hermione blabbed away, while Ron looked pretty confused, and Harry had to hold back, because he already knew them all so well. After a few days he was best friend with Ron, who seemed an exact copy of his old mate back home. Hermione played hard to get and lectured the boys about everything until the day when the troll invaded the toilets of Hogwarts. Harry was really glad that she became his friend in this world, too.

The year moved on, and Harry pretended to learn what he already knew. In school Snape played the insufferable git he used to be in Harry's own reality, but in the evening he became more and more an intimate guardian of the boy, understanding, caring, almost kind, though he would never admit that. Harry spent two to three evenings at Spinners End, and the entire weekends. This was uncommon in Hogwarts, even in this world. Pupils slept in the dorm with the others, but in this world everybody knew Harry Potter was under Snape's protection. Severus had finally told Harry most of the story, carefully avoiding any questions about his motivation and Harry told him about his world, not knowing that he was a wizard until his 11st birthday.

"You sleep where?" Severus asked at one of these evenings.

"Under the stairs." Harry answered.

Severus turned in disgust. "I will kill these people." he hissed, imagining how his boy had to live there, unprotected and scorned. In the past he might have considered that a fair treatment to the son of his worst enemy, but that was a long time ago. Having two Harrys suffering from that ill fate almost crushed him.

 

The year went by and it was almost as Harry remembered. Draco was a dickhead, Gryffindor won the Quidditch match, and the search for the philosopher's stone led them down into the secret parts of Hogwarts. When they finally had won the chess match, Harry suddenly felt as if his body was sucked out of time. Harry saw the door closing and himself moving into the room where Professor Quirrel awaited him. He looked at his arm, and it seemed transparent. He heard another voice, a familiar one.

_"He is in the map again, Fred."_ Then it was gone and his arm was fully visible.

After this, something changed. Quirrell seemed oddly content beneath his mask, as if he felt safe though the events would crush him. Voldemort laughed a bit too wildly and after all, Harry had not the strong dejavu he had all through the year.

 

"Something happened, Professor." he said, when both were joined at the dinner table in Spinner's End.

Snape chewed at the meat in his mouth and discarded the rest. He looked at Harry expectently.

"I... vanished, for a few seconds, well, almost, not quite." Harry said.

Snape got up a bit too fast. The table reeled. He took a deep breath.

"Professor?" Harry asked alarmed.

"Forgive me." Snape murmured, sitting down again. He had not realised until now how much he feared Harry might slip away again. "Tell me."

Harry described the incident and what he had heard.

"The Weasley twins?" Snape curled his upper lip.

"Do you know what map they could refer to?" Harry asked.

Snape's eyebrows rose and he made a mental note. "Did the twins talk to you during your first days in your own world?"

"No, I just talked to Ron, They rather keep to their classmates, making jokes." Harry replied.

Unlike in this world, as Harry had already found out. Here the Weasley twins were melancholic boys, brooding and withdrawn. He was confused, but he understood. Their sister, Ginny, had died in an accident with muggles when she was four. Harry missed her around here. He remembered a brave and lovely girl from his world. He had been fond of her affection.

Snape watched him, while he enforced the spells around the house. In the morning they would go to Dumbledore. They had to move back to Craven's End.

*

The tower was what impressed Harry the most. He felt the humming all inside and outside his body. A powerful space where he entered the secret life of Severus Snape and the little boy who had vanished.

_Greystone_ had been a distant memory to Severus Snape, but entering the house with Harry Potter brought everything back.

He watched him move through the rooms, touching the wall where little Harry's bed had been standing. It hurt. Harry imagined this little boy here, living with Snape. He tried to wrap his mind around the fact, that this Harry might not only have had way more toys and room to play with them, but an environment where he was raised as a wizard from early on. He envied him.

"What have I done?"

Snape moved towards him. "He wants you dead in this world, too. That's why you had and have to live with me."

Harry sank into a chair nearby. "I wish I knew what's going on."

"Me, too, but all we can do now is stay in this town." Snape said.

"May I go outside? I'd like to." Harry asked.

"You may." Snape hesitated. "There is a link in this town between the people. I have shielded you from it so far because it is quite powerful. If you go outside I must allow it."

Harry turned. "How powerful?"

"You may learn things you better not know. Or vice versa. Are you prepared for this?"

Harry was frightened. "I don't know."

Snape took his wand. "I will do my best to keep our secrets from one another."

Harry nodded and Snape waved his wand.

At first he wanted to vomit. Thankfully, he already sat. Snape stood by his side, waving and murmuring restlessly. Slowly, Harry regained control again. The voices changed from an overwhelming chatter into a beautiful backround choir that strangely soothed him. He had never loved more, being a wizard.

 

They slept in separate rooms, Harry downstairs in the little maiden chamber. He wanted a small space far away from little Harry's old bedroom in _Greystone_. He felt like an intruder, and at the same time he marvelled at the intimate relationship between his parallel-world Professor and the boy from this world.

Harry stared at the ceiling again, and an image of a dark haired girl from fourth grade came into his mind. He felt a stirring but still nothing much happened down there. Touching his penis almost felt like molesting himself. He hated being eleven. Harry had to go back to his old life. He prayed for it.

 

 

Seven

 

"How long will you keep me here?" Harry asked after a few unspectacular days in Craven's End.

Snape looked at him. He really needed to make an effort not to stare at the boy for too long. He had to admit, that he wanted to keep him here forever. The voices of the town helped Snape to cope with the confusion, the fear and told him to let go of the boy. Harry was travelling through a rift opened between all worlds. That sounded like science fiction but only to muggles. Wizards with enough power could open such rifts, send all parallel versions of you through all these worlds and absorb a person wholly over time. Everyday the traveller lost coherence in the false world until nothing was left. That was exactly what Voldemort was doing. Dumbledore had told them. They must go to the tower. Voldemort had already tampered with time and space so much that the rift threatened the whole world, all worlds.

"I have spoken to Professor Dumbledore. Since I am your guardian, there is one way we can stop Voldemort." Snape said and told him how.

Harry stared at him in shock.

"You are the one who can destroy Voldemort." Snape added.

Destroy Voldemort? How in the name of Merlin should he kill the strongest wizard that had ever lived?

"I know, Harry. You don't believe me. It was not yet time to tell you, but things have changed. He may destroy you first, if we don't act."

Harry trembled, but not from the news Snape had given him. The rift, again, made his stomach twist, and the colour of his face turned to white. "I can't." His eyes fluttered and he sank down. Snape rushed towards him, gripping the limp body and raising him to his chest. He shut his eyes, pressing the tears inward and screaming "my boy!" in his mind.

 

Dumbledore sat in the big chair near the fireplace. Snape entered the room. "He sleeps now." he said.

Dumbledoore stared at the flames. "We don't have much time, Severus. Harry will soon get weaker. The next phase of transparency will come in the next hours."

Snape sat beside him. "I cannot do this, headmaster."

"I know," Albus said emphatically. "but the other choice is to loose him, loose all this, too."

"Is there no other way?"

Dumbledore gazed at him. "Listen to me, Severus. Harry is our second chance to save this world. We might not agree with it, but there is no other option left, or we must succumb to Voldemorts dominance." Dumbledore paused.

Snape stared into the fire again. His thoughts raced. "All right." Snape said and got up. Dumbledore watched him leave, sighing deeply, cursing the actions of his past.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter three**

 

 

one

 

The second schoolyear, in the world where the Dursleys still existed, had some surprises in store for Harry. He learned, that he was able to speak Parsel, the language of snakes, but that was nothing compared to the wet dreams of a boy in a twelf year old body. Harry was really just nine but he had to put up with this puberty crap. If he only could talk to someone. He had tortured his brain over scenarios how to approach the Snape in his world. Now the professor observed him even closer after the Chamber of Secrets had been opened again.

Harry was still terrified of the professor. One afternoon he sat in his detention class. It had just been a cylinder with an explosive potion. Yes, and it broke and yes, there was a lot of smoke but nothing Snape could not handle instantly by waving his wand. What were emergency protocol spells for?

Still, he got some extra work on a perfect autumn afternoon right in Snape's study. Harry felt Snape's gaze. He tried to seem resentful but Harry felt something almost protective and tender about Snape's manner.

"Concentrate on your work, Potter." Snape hissed "unless you wish for more."

Harry looked at his paper again. While writing words and numbers, his hand seemed transparent all of a sudden. He threw his pen away and gasped.

Snape looked up. "What is..." he broke mid sentence and froze.

"Professor, what is happening?" Harry asked and his eyes gleamed of terror.

Snape fetched his wand but it was torn right out of his hand. He shut his eyes, expanding his hand. "Expecto patronum" he shouted and white lines of little stars formed an animal. It was a doe.

Harry felt weakening. His body flickered like a dying lamp in and out of this world. The doe approached and spread a kind of forcefield around him. His body slowly solidified again.

Snape ran from the room without a word, but Harry was safe in the doe's presence. The deer seemed oddly familiar. Not so much the shape, but the energy it emanated. His body was fully visible again, he felt stronger.

Minutes later Snape arrived with Dumbledore. The doe still stood there, protecting the boy. Hopefully, it was not his fault.

"Who are you?" Dumbledore asked and Harry sighed.

The time had come to tell his story.

 

 

 

two

 

"I do what?" Snape's face had frozen to a mask.

Harry was amused but did not laugh. He knew this face, and usually Severus wore it when he was taken by surprise. Laughing about it had brought Harry into serious trouble back in his world.

"You are my guardian. I lived with you since I was a toddler. " Harry repeated.

Dumbledore walked past the Professor and his hand padded Snape's arm.  
"And why is that?" the old man asked.

Harry lowered his gaze, remembering the embarrasing conversation about his mother. He was not even sure whether it was a good idea to tell them everything. So he decided for a middle way.

"Because you are the only wizard in my world who can truly protect me, mostly." he said.

"Mostly?" Dumbledore asked.

"Yes, sometimes we had to live at Craven's End" Harry added.

Snape came out of his shock when he heard the name of the town. He approached Dumbledore, whispering in his ear.

"Yes, Severus, but when he knows about Craven's End, we might as well listen to the whole story." Dumbledore said.

Snape retreated.

 

Harry told them about his time with Snape, school and how he had woken up one day, hitting his head under the stairs of the Dursleys. "They are dead in my world. No family left where I could be protected. So I lived with you."

"And how exactly am I able to protect you so well?" Snape asked.

Harry inhaled deeply. Was he allowed to tell? Was it right? Snape's question left no room to swerve "With your love for my mother."

Snape tumbled backwards. Dumbledore caught him. Harry did not seem to be surprised. "Professor, what is happening to me?" He asked, still standing there under the patronus shield.

Dumbledore turned to Snape. "We have to get him where my counterpart has brought him. You will go with him, Severus!"

"I can't, headmaster."

"Oh, you can. I will investigate the matter. I fear, Voldemort plays a vital part in this. As long as we don't know why the boy is switching worlds, we have to protect him."

Snape growled. In this world Craven's End was a prison for the intellectuals, whose magic had become so dangerous it had to be shielded from others. It was only known to a few people and to the inmates, who never left this place again. When Voldemort had become too dangerous, it was already too late to imprison him, so he never learnt of its existence.

"I will call the headwitch as an escort. Her patronus is strong enough to move Harry there." Snape said. He had to give in to Albus. The boy did not know of the contract between the two man. He was not supposed to.

 

 

Three

 

Arriving in Craven's End was like coming home for Harry. It was strange. On one hand he felt safe again, on the other hand everything that terrified him came back, too. This Craven's End was an odd place and Snape worked hard to shield Harry from the town's communication net. It might damage him, he had said. The headwitch denied that, but Snape did not believe her. In fact, he was afraid of the witches, because their powers were unimaginably strong. Nevertheless, he eventually gave in to them, because his head was about to explode. Maybe Harry was safe here for awhile.

Harry walked beside Snape, silently. His own Snape did not talk much either, but at least, he was fond of Harry. This one hated him for some reason. Harry felt cold.

They were invited into the mainhouse. Guestquarters got prepared, and they moved into a two room apartment. Snape had protested, but Dumbledore's orders were clear. Stay together at all time.

"Go to sleep, Potter." Snape said when supper had been finished.

"Why do you hate me, Professor?" Harry asked.

Snape looked at him and said nothing. How could he ever begin? "Go."

 

The night was cool. Harry could not sleep. The hours flew by, while he was brooding over Voldemorts intentions. Suddenly, he heard a sound, like a voice. Did it come from the town's net? It seemed close and not at all in his head. He got up slowly and walked towards the curtain that separated their rooms. A light flickered from a table. It was Snape. Did he cry?

"Go back to bed, Potter." he hissed.

"I can't." the boy said. "I'm afraid."

Snape remained silent, though he wanted to yell at Harry Potter so much, telling him about his father who never cared about how much he hurt him. But Snape could not. As much as he tried to overpower his love for Lily with the hate for James, it did not work. He got up, took his lamp and walked over to the boy.

He stopped right in front of him, looking down, lifting the lamp and lighting Harry's face. It was the first time they stood that close, and Snape cursed the moment forever. Harry had her eyes.

Calm outwardly, he murmured a sleeping spell and sent the boy back to sleep.  
Inside he was screaming.

 

The next day Dumbledore visited them. He sat down in the big chair of the living room. Soon after the headwitch arrived.

Snape shot her a contemptuous look.

"Sit, both of you. Mrs Hain will explain what happens." Dumbledore said.

"Is it necessary to involve her?" Snape asked, fixating the witch with his gaze.

They shared a silent look.

"Severus, they are on our side."

Snape nodded briefly and sat down next to Harry.

Mrs Hain opened a screen with moving pictures and explained what happened.

"The worlds have opened, and the boy is sent through them." A moving draft illustrated the outcome of the procedure, and Snape got colder each moment. There was only one wizard who would temper with the fabric of life in this way. When Snape had agreed to protect Harry Potter he could not have conceived of the length Voldemort was ready to go to destroy him.

"He won't be safe here for long." Mrs. Hain said. "Voldemort has opened a rift that will suck the pattern of the boy through all shields, all protection."

"Is there anything we can do?" Dumbledore asked.

"If he doesn't return to his world soon, he will destabilize totally." she said. "but that is the problem. Voldemort has found a way to send him because he is the master of the boy's energy pattern. If we could change it..."

Snape sprang from his seat. "Then the rift collapses."

"Yes, but there is another problem. When we change Harry's pattern, while he resides in the wrong world, he will be stuck here forever and the worlds will collapse."

Dumbledore walked up and down, thinking. "We would have to synchronize the process but how?" He stopped. "Mrs Hain, isn't the tower of Craven's End a beacon who connects the worlds?"

"Well, yes. It allows Craven's End to exist that way by channelling the power of the worlds into this fixed point of reality." she said.

"So, the tower could help us?" Dumbledore asked, but she averted her gaze to the window. It dawned on her what the old wizard had in mind.

 

They brought them to the tower. The hum was killing Snape.

"It contains all knowledge, but nobody is strong enough to know everything. So, it is dangerous to use it. We can do nothing but trust its judgement, whether we like the outcome or not." Mrs Hain explained.

"We have no other choice." Dumbledore said, releasing the boy from his hands and handing him over to the witch with a reassuring smile. Harry nodded bravely.

"The tower will inform the worlds of our plan, from the moment Harry enters the inner force field." the witch said.

"How will the other Snapes and Harrys know how to alter the boy's pattern?" Dumbledore asked.

The witch turned to Snape. "They already do."

Snape said nothing. Of course they knew. The witches of all worlds knew and so did he, since the thoughts of altering Harry's energy patterns had entered the communication of Craven's End. Snape woould melt with Harry on the point of all worlds, on the platform in the force field, so his pattern could change.

The field cracked, Dumbledore receded. The witch cast a last spell around Severus and the boy, and together they entered the force field.

 

 

**Chapter five**

 

The Tower knew.

The worlds had led Harry Potter and Severus Snape to its infinite wisdom. When the boy and the man entered the forcefield, the Tower closed the rift.

Both wizards together in the magic circle of the tower was enough to collapse Voldemort's scheme for the time being.  
The Tower shut down, but a promise was made, because Voldemort was not dead.


	12. Chapter 12

**Part III**   
**All roads lead here**

 

**Chapter one**

 

one

 

"This is so wrong!"

Harry swept the blanket off his body in an instant. Panting and sweating he sat straight up in his bed.

"What's wrong?" A mumble rose from the bed near by and strings of red hair shimmered in the faint morning light. With it came Ron Weasley, who blinked half asleep and slightly annoyed.

"Just a bad dream." Harry murmured. "Sorry for waking you up, Ron." his breathing evening out. "It's alright."

Ron made himself comfortable again and mumbled: "I love you man, but stop yelling at this time of day." Then he was off to sleep again.

Harry smiled. "Love you, too." he whispered and lay down carefully, trying to ban the images from his recent dream, but he still felt haunted by them. Flashes of dark light mocking his eyes, clouding his view through the heavy curtains in the Gryffindor dormitory windows. Pictures leaping over from his halfsleep.

Harry shuddered. What did they mean? He didn't even dare to think about it. His breath sounded almost normal now. But sleep avoided him until the waking call an hour later...

 

The potions master dressed in one of his countless black robes, carefully buttoning the dark clothes, watching the fragile body and soul vanish under the delicate masquerade. His hair hang losely around his aged face, presenting a rather wild and puzzled frame. He trimmed it until he felt comfortable with it, though “comfortable“ was no word Severus Snape used to adress himself.

He looked into the mirror and noticed the paleness of his skin. It pleased him. He had told himself for years that when he only could perish all feelings of happiness inside he would be save. Safe from love's sting, inside a dark cave where his soul had fled since he had been a boy.

Every morning he tried to smile. It felt like a touch of the Crutiatus spell to his body when he saw his lips still twitching into an upright position. He longed for the day when his mouth would remain unmoved or even pointing downwards.

Today was not the day. He mourned.

But not for long. He only needed to think about James Potter and a feeling of rage and hatred froze his lips. His eyes sparkled like black, hot coals. He felt home, home in the darkness of his lifelong misery. That was all what's left and he cherished, he nurtured it.

He left for breakfest.

 

Harry sat at the breakfest table and did not really know what he ate. Hermione and Ron were immersed in private chatter. Harry did not care. He stared into nothing when Hermione's voice dragged him back into reality.

"Harry, where are you?" she asked, watching him closely all of a sudden.

"Well..." Harry returned with an awkward feeling of being caught. "just thinking... about the day." he managed to come up with.  
Hermione shook her head and focused on Ron again. Harry decided to concentrate on his breakfest, listening with half an ear what Ron was chatting about, when a familiar black robed figure entered the hall.

Harrys heart leapt, as always, but ususally he felt a ring of ice encircling his heart when Professor Snape entered his sight. Today disturbing images were mixed with his fear that had strangely changed a bit to excitement.

 

Nobody seemed to notice Snape except for Ginny, who watched him with a frightened expression in her eyes. Harry felt sorry for her. Snape teased the girl at every possible occasion, like he teased all the Weasley kids. Ron hated Snape as did his twin brothers. Fred and George had spent more time in Snape's detention than anyone else. They actually prided themselves for this. The twins just liked being recognised even if connected to such obscure fame.

Harry observed his thoughts wandering to why Snape hated the Weasleys so much. He loved to think of them as his own family. Molly Weasley emanated an aura of care and love that always tugged him into a sweet, soft feeling of maternal affection. Harry could feel the warmth soothing him just by thinking about her.

That was it. Love... Snape radiated many things but love was not among them. Harry got lost again watching the potions master from afar. A fragile string of sorrow stirred his heart. He could not say why.

 

 

two

 

"Severus!"

Snape turned his head in surprise...and met... the face of Harry Potter!

For an instant their eyes beheld each other and Snape fell into a remote picture of his past and gasped.

*Lily*.

Snape braced himself. Thank Merlin he was already standing close to a pillar, so nobody noticed the tremble of his legs. Severus Snape had never been prepared for the unexpected look into the boy's face.  
All this happened in just a split second. Harry had quickly lowered his gaze while walking past him.

Then Snape realised who had called his name.  
"Headmaster!" he replied, steadying his posture.

Dumbledore approached him from a far corner of the gallery.  
"Do come into my office after your last lesson, will you?" Dumbledore asked.

Snape nodded obediently, and when he turned to the spot, where he had seen these eyes, it was empty. He straightened himself, but inside he witnessed a deep sigh. Why after all these years could he not hate Harry Potter the way he had hated his father? This question of course was just rhetorical. He had known the answer since the day he had first met the boy.

He headed for class.

But the day seeemed cursed, as if a dark wizard had hexed it. Snape appreciated a sad day but he was not sad right now, nor could he muster the comfortable amount of anger to torture his students today. They all did quite well, no injuries from badly mixed potions, not even a little explosion. Indeed, the wizarding world must have conspired against him. His lips were twitching that it hurt his face.

 

Last lesson of the day.

Snape feared to enter the classroom. There he sat. The boy. Who was not a boy anymore. When did he notice it first? Severus could not remember. He had avoided the eyes of Harry Potter quite effectively, as long as the brat was too small to enter the level of Snape's sight. But this year he could not deny him anymore. Potter was 16 years old now and had grown right into his face.

His head ached when he closed the door.

Harry concentrated on his potion while drinking in the tension building constantly in the room. He could always feel it. There was no lesson where he felt as uncomfortable as in Potions. Snape wandered around approaching the Slytherin table. Harry looked up, watching Draco Malfoy sucking up to Snape, eyes full of slimy affection. The dark figure smirked awkwardly. Harry's gaze lingered on him. ... as if Snape was in pain.

Pain.

Images shooting all of a sudden through his memory. Harry gasped, overwhelmed by the unsettling emotions. He looked around. No one had noticed, he realised assuaged. No one but the man in black.

Snape had abandoned the Slytherin table, looking at Harry openly. Then, as if he had realised that he was staring at one of his students, his face shifted into a mask of the usual anger. Among it Harry spotted...concern?

In a second the expression vanished from Snapes face, while he was stalking the room towards the boy.  
"Are we finished, yet, Potter?" he asked cooly, not able to ban the hint of concern in his face entirely.

"No, Sir." Harry replied, turning to his cauldron, pretending to being busy. Snape dismissed the opportunity to insult him further. Instead, he simply went away, just leaving an intense glare between them. People around him noticed and murmured.  
Harry could not stop himself from smiling a bit. What in Merlins name had happened?

 

At lunch the Gryffindor boys teased him.

"Hey, what did you do to Snape? He almost kissed your ass down there." Harry lowered his head, unexpectedly embarrased. Usually he was always in for a good joke about Snape but the picture in his mind that had tortured him since morning hurt him instead.

Ron noticed Harry's uneasiness and jumped to his rescue immediately.  
"Leave him alone, Seamus, will ya. Worry about your own ass kissing." That was rather harsh, Harry thought, but he was grateful. Seamus looked stunned.

Harry was happy about Ron being his best friend. He padded his back and the red haired boy smiled at him triumphantly.

 

"Come in." the old man shouted from inside.

Snape entered the studyroom. His thoughts lingered on the picture of an alarmed Harry Potter, looking up from his cauldron while a shot of pain had run through Snape's body. _As if he had felt it._  
Snape looked at Dumbledore.

"We have been summoned, Severus."

**Chapter 2**

 

 

one

 

He had never been to Craven's End.

Witches ran the place, who seemed oddly content to Snape's taste. It seemed, as if they shared a mental bond that made them smile sheepishly. Snape did not hear nor feel anything. In the middle of the town there stood an old, blackened tower. _The Great Event_ had robbed it off its power, they said. What was he supposed to do here?

The witches guided the two men to the town house. The fashion of the interior was sickening to Snape, but he kept silent, unsure what was expected of him. Dumbledore seemed familiar with this place and their inhabitants. One of the many secrets of the headmaster, Snape supposed. They sat down.

The witches spoke of old times and a promise. It was time to fulfill it. Snape sighed internally. He hated secrets as long as they were not his own. So his mouth twitched just a bit, while Dumbledore nodded ceaselessly.

"Professor Snape?" the witch now spoke to him directly. "Has the mourning increased?" she asked bluntly.

Severus' head swam suddenly. Mourning? How could she? What did they? To his surprise another witch said. "It has."

Snape sprang from his seat. Dumbledore seized his arm, urging him to sit down. "What are they saying, headmaster?"

"You have been here before, Severus." Dumbledore replied gently, "but we had to supress your memory."

Snape sunk into his chair. So the confusion of the last days may made sense after all. "What memory?" he asked.

The witches formed a ring and invited him inside. "We will answer your questions but you must swear not to break the circle, no matter what."

Snape looked at Dumbledore, who suddenly seemed very old and tired. He nodded in encouragement and Severus turned toward the witches.

"You need not fear this. Go to sleep and we will bring you home."

 

 

two

 

Snape suddenly woke up in his bed in Hogwarts. The fire was dimmed. The last flames danced on a dying log.

He looked at the picture of Shana Vain, the first halfblood witch teaching in Hogwarts, who sat there on a small chair, watching the scene of Buckington Hollow. Lily had given it to him when he aspired to be a teacher himself. It hurt every single time he looked at it, because this painting said so much about how well Lily had known him. The woman was moving. She always did. Turning towards him, waving her hand, as if she wanted to encourage him every day to face this life he had chosen. Now something had changed.

"Severus."

"Who is there?"

"It's me, Shania."

"Shania? You never speak."

"The witches speak through me."

Snape sat up. He remembered instantly. The room, the circle, Craven's End.

"You have been brave, Severus."

" I'm a coward." He looked away.

"Not anymore."

"What do you want?"

"I desire nothing, but the world needs your help."

"I despise the world!"

"There is one you cannot hate."

Snape was stunned.

"Go to him."

Silence.

"Fulfill the promise that was made three years past. A life with the boy for a world safe from Voldemort."

The name hit Severus hard. Energy rippled through his body that brought new memories with each wave. A cruel wizard, a desperate life and a promise.

*Lily* and the boy she had died for, who died now if he was not there.

"Allow him to share your pain," she said tenderly. "He is burning from hurt and loneliness, like you. You both have lost the love of the same woman. You both can connect through it and become the strongest beacon of this world against Voldemort."

"But he was defeated." Snape said after all.

"No. It was a borrowed freedom because you did not alter Harry's energy pattern permanently. He will return and try to kill him again, unless you fulfill the promise."

Snape did not look up. He dared not showing his face so deranged even to that portrait of Shana Vain, who now just sat in the chair again, silent, watching the scene of Buckington Hollow. Snape remembered the contract they had made ages ago with the tower and he feared to leave the bed.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this will be the chapter with the Explicit Material. You have been warned. If you are not comfortable with a slightly underage Harry having sex with Snape, don't read it!

**Chapter three**

 

 

one

 

Harry sat in Potions detention class, again. It was the third time this week. He wrote an essay on wolfsbane potion, history, ingredients and precautions, five pages. There had not even been a transgression, but Snape would not let him off the hook this week. First the missing Potion's book, then a minor accident with Ron and his potion (which resulted in Harry scrubbing 28 cauldrons without any cleaning spell but good old curd soap), at last, he had just uttered two words towards Hermione and that was why he wrote these five pages now.

Still, Harry wondered. Snape usually ignored him while Harry went on with his imposition, but this week he seemed to observe him - not with his eyes but with his mind. The Occlumency lessons were still raw in Harry's memory. Right now was no invasion, just tendrils of energy, clearly coming from the man across the room.

"Are we finished, Potter?" the harsh voice interrupted his musings. "Or are you dreaming?"

Harry felt caught, though he was not aware of any wrong doing. Snape turned in the opposite direction and Harry could clearly feel how his mental presence shifted.

He thought of his dream from the morning, vividly. Snape turned around abruptly.

Harry put his pen away and handed Snape the essay. "I hope you approve." he said to clear the air of confusing thoughts.

It worked. Snape got distracted and looked at it. "Fine." he hissed through his teeth. "Go!"

How could he talk to the boy? The next night changed everything.

 

 

 

two

 

At two am the school was in uproar. A chrashing noise had awakened half of Hogwarts and soon the staff got busy with evacuating the pupils to the dungeons. All school Personel and pupils had to retreat underground, when Hogwarts got exposed to the Muggle world.

Hogwarts looked quite different to the Muggle eye without the spells, even at night, and with all the modern surveillance technology they had to perform the evacuation at the same time as during the day.

Though this time it was not muggles who disturbed them.

 

_"Harry!"_

The boy rushed to the window. He knew this voice - it was in his head. He tried occlumency spells, but they did not work. His feet felt thin, literally.

 

"To the dungeons!" the prefects called, watching over the procedure, counting their intrusted host of children.

Harry fetched his wand. It was not allowed in this kind of situation but he felt safer with it, nobody would notice. His feet returned to a strength where he could keep up with his classmates while descending to the underground of his school.

 

"Where is the boy?"  
Dumbledore had stopped Snape in the lower corridors. Severus wore this cold mask of action in the face of danger, real danger.

"Do you hear me, Severus?"

That was the moment Snape realised, that the headmaster spoke to him. He had been totally consumed by occlumenting the invader who called the boy. Distressfully, he could not block the unwelcomed presence in its entirety. And how could he? Voldemort had found Harry and opened the worlds again. Their time had run out.

"Severus, you need to take him away, fulfill your task." Dumbledore said, while a relentless stream of children hurried past them. He stood close to the Potions Master and Snape nodded.

He flew away, forgetting about Dumbledore, only searching for Harry. He knew where to find him.

 

The corridors emptied. The evacuation was almost complete.

Snape went for Dumbledore's office. The walls had lost coherence here. It was the weakest point to Voldemorts terror. He could easily feel the presence of his own memories, caught and stored away around Dumbledore's pensieve. The worlds had opened here with a crashing sound. At the door leaned Harry Potter, incoherent himself, drifting away, again. Close to the reopened rift Snape rememebred the worlds he had wandered with the boy, experienced their flight again, the agony and the confusion.

Harry did not recognise him. He had been too weak already. Voldemort could almost hear the sweet melody of triumph and so did Snape. He could give in, he might even get another chance in a world with Voldemort as a leader. A dark world, a place he always desired, free from pain, from all emotions.

Harry sighed, and Snape was waking up because that tiny spark of love in his soul, that could not be purged, had caught fire.  
Snape enclosed his wand. There was a powerful spell he had only used once in all worlds. He stepped closer to the young man and performed it.

 

The noise had stopped. Harry raised his head. The wall he had leaned against was gone, but there stood a familiar figure. It was just a shadow of the man he used to know but at the same time he felt completely surrounded by his presence. Harry was inside Snape's mind, more so, he had taken him in, totally, hiding him from the world, all worlds. Harry was scared but at the same time he marvelled at the power Snape possesed. What enabled him to perform this kind of magic?

The figure moved and Harry felt warm fingers encircle his own and then he heard his voice.

"It was the only way. Otherwise we might all be dead."

"And you chose me?"

Here, inside Snape, there were no secrets, all boundaries useless. "Yes."

Harry felt like coming home.  
T

hey would not remember this conversation, because the spell only worked for the time being, but it comforted Harry that this realm existed, even if he forgot about it in the outside world. They would only remember the outcome of their sharing but never know how it came about.

The power of the spell subsided and the wall reappeared. It had solidified, so did Harry's presence. Snape took his hand and they both could apparate.

 

**Chapter four**

 

one

 

"I have been here." Harry said. He walked along the tower wall.

"In many worlds." Snape concluded.

The black stones felt blunt beneath his fingertips, while he moved them over the surface, lost in memories. There was a mental echo in his mind, voices of women, witches. They had once talked to him. He remembered the sound of their chatter or rather a well organised symphony of thoughts.

"Have you been here, too?" he asked Snape.

The man nodded and lowered his gaze.

"Why are we here?" Harry asked.

"To save the world." Snape murmured and fell silent again.

Harry stopped and felt he was done wondering.  
All the strange events in the past, the shared moments of silence, the lessons and the tenderness he sensed, though no one was around. The whole time he felt like Snape was hiding something under this rage and hatred. His eyes were as dark as the deepest night, though Harry did not feel intimidated anymore but strangely drawn and protected by them. Something had happened and he could not remember what it was, but Snape obviously did. Which part was he supposed to play to "save the world"?

"Won't you talk to me?" he asked.

"I hate you." Snape whispered and turned away.

"I know." Harry answered. "But I also know that there is no hate without love."

Snape looked up, trying to muster this cold mask one more time. "You think you are clever, Potter. But youth is foolish and arrogant, reciting phrases one accidentally picked up not comprehending their depth."

Harry remained calm and said: "You are not here to threaten me."

Snape snarled in his best manner, but it was useless. He closed his eyes. Damn the stupid boy! Harry had no clue in this world about the truth of Severus Snape and Lily Evans and Snape was not at all willing to talk about her. What was it to Harry Potter how he felt?

Everything, of course!

The world could be saved, if he could come clean. That he had loved her, that he still did by loving her son. That this was the only way to stop Voldemort this time. Severus carried all the love neccessary to destroy him, but only, if he would be brave enough to admit his feelings and join with Harry into an unbreakable bond.

Harry might be shocked, disgusted or worse, run away, hiding from the molester who earlier had lusted after his mom. He wasn't anything like that, but maybe Harry saw it this way in his confusion. All he had to do was to say it out loud in this world too, but he could not.

"Your mother...I have..." Severus started, but the words would not come out.

Then he felt a hand on his shoulder. Snape flinched because he could not remember the last time someone had touched him.

"I miss her, too." Harry began. "Every day." He withdrew his hand and retreated. "It drives me crazy that I cannot remember her. I was too small."

Snape froze. What on earth did the boy know about them? "What do you mean, Potter?" he hissed.

"I had a dream." Harry said. "Ever since we came here, I knew it wasn't merely a dream. It was the truth."

Snape looked at him. "What truth?"

Harry knew it would not be easy to open up to him, but the time had come for getting stripped to the bones in front of the only human beeing who had loved his mother and still lived.  
"It's okay." Harry simply stated.

Snape swallowed. “It's cold. Maybe in one of the houses we can lit a fire.”

They both left the tower and walked towards a grey house. It did not matter, where they would share their stories and approach the truth, but both felt comfortable, almost safe, here in Craven's End.

 

 

two

 

The house was empty, but the rooms contained the strangest interior. Harry felt warm. Snape disrobed and sat in the armchair. Harry examined every piece lying around. There was a tea set resting on the table, shelves with books quite like a small library. And there were toys, neatly placed in a cupboard.

It all looked so familiar though they still felt out of place, but all they needed was already here. A room and an atmosphere to open up.

"You already know." Snape began.

Harry remained silent.

"But not all of it." Snape got up.

"Not all?" Harry asked reluctantly

"...that will be demanded to fuflfill the promise..."

"What promise?"

Snape walked towards the door. "To protect you, meant to protect the world, but it was not enough."

Harry had dreamt about Snape as a guardian many times. He had dreamt about being very close to him against all odds. He was afraid to think about this, let alone talk about it to his friends. In the waking hours his mind demanded to hate Snape, but at night a voice told another story, and it had soothed him, though he had never admitted this. Now it surfaced unexpectantly in this room on the brink of the world's end.

Snape felt the boy's turmoil. The air seemed to thicken as if something shifted.

"His voice is so quiet now." Harry said.

Snape inhaled deeply. The promise. There was no turning back. "Do you remember anything from another life, Harry?" he asked.

Harry looked at him. "There was a boy, who lived here, protected by a man who loved him but would not concede it."

Snape gasped at this bluntness, but Harry held his gaze.

"I can read it in your eyes. I can hear it in my mind louder each minute, because _his_ voice is dying. We have to fulfill what you could not have done three years ago, because you were afraid to hurt me. Just stepping on the platform together was not enough." Harry answered and walked towards him.

Snape wanted to run. He craved Harry's touch but was afraid of it all the same. If the boy touched him, Snape could no longer be Snape. He had to lay down his mask, standing naked before the world. He would cease to exist. And then what? A very clear picture of Voldemort passed his inner eye and fell away.

When he opened his eyes, Harry Potter stood right in front of him. He swept his finger across the man's cheek, removing a strand of black, long hair from the pale face. Severus shivered. The boy was pure tenderness to him, had always been from the first moment he had looked into his green eyes. His private purgatory had meant to be with him but always at a distance.  
Severus had resisted to imagining his touch all the time in all worlds. It was not right. And would Harry not find a girl one day whom he made love to, become a father and settle into the ordinary life he so much deserved, that Snape was never meant to have? Was he allowed to desire him? He was his teacher. So he had told himself all these years like a mantra.

"Severus." Harry whispered.

"Yes." the man's voice failed.

"You are not my father."

Their eyes met. Snapes fingers trembled. His heart ached from all the cold words that had built the walls around him. His lifelong safety was a heap of ruins now.

Severus lifted his hand and Harry lay his face into it. He sighed. Touching him like that seemed already too much. Harry covered Snapes hand and kissed the palm. Then they fell into a very long embrace. Harry took deep breaths of Snape's odour, a mixture of carefully cleaned clothes, old books and the earth between the dungeon walls. Harry opened his eyes. Suddeny he remembered being a young boy. And the boy knew Snape's scent. Harry looked up into Severus's eyes.

"We have been here." Harry whispered.

"Yes." Severus said.

"I remember everything." Harry released himself from Snape's arms. "You raised me here in this house."

Snape inhaled deeply. "It was not enough."

He took the man's hand."I know. His voice is still in my head."

Snape saw the little boy, screaming because of the pain Voldemort inflicted in him. It was time to end all this, to end fear and the numbing feeling of stagnancy.

 

Severus pulled Harry close. Their breaths mingeled. Then he carefully touched Harry's upper lip with his own, tasting the sweet perfume of the boy he had been so familiar with all these years.

Finally...

Their lips entwined in a symphony of caress and longing, exploring a world that always seemed so close but farther apart than all the worlds they had lived in.

They kissed like new born lovers, fueling the fire of the ancient promise: _"That love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."_ Snape felt Harry's magic easily interfusing with his own on a level they both had never experienced. The men moved in a strange harmony.

Their lips parted and their eyes met again, dark and alive.

"What are we doing?" Snape asked in a deep, heavy voice, pulsing through Harry's body.

"Saving the world, Severus." the boy answered with a smirk on his face. He waved his wand and a fire went on in the fireplace of the room. Then he slowly started unbuttoning Snapes undercoat.

Through the waves of guilt and arousal, Snape stopped the boys hand. "Don't!" he managed to say, desperately trying to breathe regularly.

"Are you afraid?" Harry asked.

Snape almost smiled. "No. But you may be." he said softly.

Harry hesitated. He had never dared to imagine that he could be so close to Snape. Of course he feared all kinds of things, but there was no turning back. The voice of Voldemort was almost silent now.

"Take out your wand." Severus said, getting his own. "This will make it easier for you."

Harry's look was unsteady.

"Trust me." Severus added.

The young man complied. Snapes wand released a string of frail gold searching for the tip of Harry's wand.  
"Close your eyes now." the man demanded softly.

Harry did.

Like a net, building up from one point, the magic spread around them and eventually through them. It was the spell from Dumbledore's office. Their magic had melted completely and he could not tell why he had feared this moment at all.

"Are you ready for this, Harry?" Snape asked and his words seemed to waft through a haze of time and space, reaching the boys heart directly.

"Yes."

Slender but strong hands pulled the boy close, his head resting against Severus cheek. He kissed the boy's ears, carefully inch by inch - Harry's eyes shut tight. He did not want to return to his life again. A moan escaped his mouth as a matter of course.  
Snape did not know how long he could hold back. He just wanted to devour him wholly and never let go of him again.

Their heads touched and black hair mingled, that nobody could tell where tone of them began and the other one ended. Snape inhaled Harry's scent like an intoxicating perfum. He could die just doing this. He tried not to think of Harry's eyes, Lily's eyes.

"I am not my mother, either." Harry pressed forward, his eyes still closed.

Of course, the link. Severus looked at him.

"There is no secret you can hide anymore." Harry said calmly and he was right.

"Pardon me." Severus answered with a touch of sarcasm but a smile fiddled at the corners of his mouth.

Harry shook his head. "I cannot forgive you as long as you can't forgive yourself," he said with a grave expression.

Snape watched him for a moment. "Are you trying to save me, Potter?"

Harry laughed at the familiar remark. "I guess." he replied with slight tension.

Severus approached him again. This time he kissed the young man passionately. He would soon know about Severus Snape making love.

Harry resumed unbuttoning Severus' coat. The buttons resisted the unknown hands bravely, so Severus helped a bit. Harry managed and slid a shaking hand under the black vest past the white shirt and met bare skin. They both gasped at the sudden sensation.

Raw desire surfaced in both men. Snape's hands wandered down Harry's spine. His fingers traced some scar tissue near the bottom. He learned where they came from and he felt the heat of anger arise.

_"I kill them."_ he whispered.

Harry sent through the link: _"There are more dangerous enemies."_

_"I kill them all!"_ Severus sent back.

_"We will!"_ and with that the white shirt fell from the Professor.

They learned about the shame they carried inside and it was fascinatingly similar. _"You stop me from hurting you, please!"_

Harry assured him to press on. _"The days you've hurt me are over."_

Snape nodded slightly and caressed Harry's arm and shoulder. All of a sudden he lifted him up like a prince in a fairy tale. Harry slung his arms around him, and Severus walked towards a couch in the middle of the room. He gently put him down. They knew what would happen, what had to happen, now. The link left no room for doubt.

Snape stood in front of the boy who came forward, encircling Severus's midsection, his chest against a hardness in Snape's trousers. Harry released the heated body and slid them down.

He kissed him and Snape's breathing quickened.

Then something happened to the link.

The spell got weaker.

_"Severus"_ he said silently.

_"I'm here."_

_"What is happening?"_

The lights of the tower went on. They illuminated the whole village and even filled the room with a bright light.  
Then the spell was gone.

_"Severus?"_

_"Yes."_

_"I can still feel you."_

_"It's the tower."_

Harry got up. He suddenly understood the full meaning of the promise. They were the only ones to seal the worlds forever.

"We need to go to the tower"

Harry collected all the clothes and drew a baffled Snape out of the house into the light. Thank Merlin, nobody could see them running naked through the streets, because the town was empty. Snape understood. The powersource of the tower was the location of the breach where Voldemorts magic was pouring through. They had activated the old rift with their link. The clock was ticking. There was no turning back anymore.

Both men entered the room with the platform. It was surrounded by a circle of magic lightning. The energy of the tower humming through their bodies was enormous, but they were shielded by the towns magic from the full impact.

The strength of the mental bond subsided even more, but they did not despair. Harry stripped his remaining clothes while Snape spread out his robe over the platform. Harry slowly stepped on the platform, into the circle of white fire where Snape was waiting for him. Harry lay down on Severus' robe.

Snape came to him, slowly feeling Harry's skin under his hands. It was soft and strong. Lily was gone from his mind. Snape kissed him again, wandering down his throat, caressing his chest, trailing down the thin line of hair. Harry bent with pleasure.

The magic fire burnt around them and every touch intensified from its energy.

Severus forgot about his life. He was here now, touching and loving the young man who had saved him from eternal isolation. He would have buried his desire to touch him this way, if it was not for surviving, but Harry trusted him. So Severus started as gently as possible. He stroked Harrys cock and marvelled at the way it hardened under his touch. Desire welled up in Severus' body, a desire to be inside of Harry, to feel him completely. He needed Harry to loosen up, to want him, to let him in.

Harry closed his eyes and his breathing quickened. Every touch erased a moment of abuse from his memory and he could feel his body opening to Snape's demands.

Severus fetched a little bottle. He opened it without letting Harry go.

"Turn around." he whispered. Harry complied.

Severus touched his bottomcheeks. They were almost relaxed, if he would not caress Harry's cock. He put the gel on two fingers and started massaging the tight hole in the middle. Harry escaped a deep moan. Severus concentrated on Harry's entrance.

_I have never done this before,_ Harry thought. "What shall I do?"

Severus released his cock and put his hand on Harrys back. It got warmer there and the tight muscles of his pelvis relaxed further.

"Just be at ease as much as you can. I'll be very, very careful."

One slick finger pushed gently inside him. Harry inhaled deeply. With each breath the tension abated, and then he felt him inside. He did not know, that this could be desireable but it was. In fact, he wanted more.

"Are you okay?" Severus asked.

"I'm fine. Don't stop." Harry pressed forward. His knees got weaker. His whole body started shaking.

Severus felt it. He withdrew his finger and just before Harry could protest, Severus let his other arm glide under him, forcing him softly to descend to his left side. Then he searched for Harry's opening again. Harry sighed. This was much more comfortable. Severus lay down behind him and Harry felt his hard penis pressing against his back while two fingers moved inside him. After some time they were withdrawn again.

Snape hesitated, Harry could feel it. He turned around, looking into Severus' eyes. He ordered the bottle into his hand and put some of its content into his right hand. Severus watched him closely. Then Harry began to rub it onto the man's cock until it was completely covered with it.

"Do it, come to me." he said and turned around again.

And so he did. The two fingers were merely a herald to the pleasures that expanded from his pelvis to the rest of his body. Severus slowly pushed forward, waiting for Harry to let go and after a few moments he did, the gel smoothing the ride.  
Severus began to move inside him and his breath deepened. Cracks of lightening shot around the platform. It was almost done, but the rift was resisting. It sounded almost angry, as if Voldemort himself wanted to reach through, preventing things from happening.

Severus got hold of Harry's cock again and his thrusts synchronised with his hand. The sensations were about to shut his brain down. It were two bodies moving as one. When Severus finally came inside Harry Potter, he shouted his name. This brought the boy down, and he spilled his fluid over Snapes hand. The energy around them exploded, and everything went white.


	14. Chapter 14

**Epilogue**

 

 

One

 

He blew out the candles.

"She loved this." Snape said and helped himself to a piece of cranberrie cake.

Harry looked at him. Severus only ate cake once a year. At the birthday of Harry's mother. He smiled. "How is it?" he asked, taking a piece himself.

"Hm." was the only sound coming out of Snape. That was a high praise.

Harry laughed. "You're welcome." and took a bite. He closed his eyes. He could taste the food his mother had liked the most and felt close to her.

There had only ever been this hole in his chest, no "I miss her" but emptiness. Severus suffered from her loss, but Harry just lived in darkness. He could not know which was worse, but he knew their pain united them. And even more, their love that had grown out of it.

"Tomorrow is the day." Severus said.

Harry nodded. "The great Auror hearing."

"You'll do good."

"You think so?"

Severus put the plate down. He leaned over the small table, and turned Harrys left jaw with two fingers towards him. "There is nobody worthier to be an Auror."

As soon as he had said that, Harry felt calm. When Severus Snape deemed him worthy, it must have been true. The corners of his mouth formed a little smile and he looked away, down the fields, spreading across the valley before him.

 

 

Two

 

They walked side by side into the Auror Headquaters. People made way for the unlikely pair. The former deatheater and the Boy-who-lived.

The room of the hearing was crowded, to say the least. Harry took his place at the stand, where he seated himself on a small chair. Snape nodded to him and vanished in the crowd.

The hearing began. The minister of magic himself spoke. He recounted the events of Voldemorts death. Harry pained the details. His last year he had spent finding Horcruxes only to realise he was one himself. Though the final battle had been won and people had died, all these things were merely sidenotes to the minister now.

"We have evidence that someone has tempered with the fabric of time and space." he exclaimed.

Harry sat straight in his chair. All the time he had feared they had found out about their little adventure one year earlier. Now the truth maybe the end of his carreer.

"Explain yourself, Mr. Potter?" he said.

Harry got up and looked over to Severus, whose black hair he could not miss even among so many wizards and witches. He was seventeen years now, an adult in the wizarding world with full rights and responsibilities. Whatever came of this inquiry, he had to face it.

"I have been fighting Voldemort before." he announced.

The crowd murmured.

"Silence!" the minister shouted.

"He always searched for me and wanted to destroy me, even when I was a child. But I found help. Help from someone, Voldemort did not expect to help me." Harry began.

"From whom?"

"My husband." he said and turned towards the man in the crowd.

Snape rose. People murmured again.

"Professor?" the minister asked.

"When Voldemort created a rift, Severus Snape saved my life in every world Voldemort created. So, yes, there has been tampering with time and space." Harry said, looking around, letting his eyes rest on the minister. "but it was Voldemort himself, desiring to destroy me." Harry turned back to Severus. "We solely closed the worlds again."

There was stunned silence.

Then the minister slowly found his voice again. "How?"

Harry smiled. "Let's say, by rewriting history."

The minister was not in a mood for riddlles. "You apply for training as Chief Auror today. We cannot have someone in this position, who keeps secrets."

"It was only a secret until Voldemort was dead." he said, watching Severus. The man nodded. It was time to tell their story.

 

 

 

Three

 

When the white light had receded, Harry and Snape lay in a field, naked. Harry blinked and a blue sky was the first thing he saw. The colour was marvelous, no cloud diminished the experience. He could feel his breath leaving and reentering his lungs. The air was cool but soft. He turned his head. There lay the man who had saved him through this entire time. A man, who everybody else deemed a bully, a monster and a traitor.

What did people know? They only assumed things on the basis of their own prejudices. What did they really know? Nothing. Harry raised his arm and touched the bare skin of Severus' shoulder. The man stirred. He blinked through strands of black hair and turned towards the warm touch.

They looked at each other. There was no shame, no guilt over past time mistakes, only pure clarity that love could save the world at any time. Love existed prior to all existence. That's why you could alter history with it.

They had beeen brought through. Craven's End was gone, and the field was only a short distance to the next muggle village. But the one wizarding world still existed. All other worlds had been closed again.

They apparated directly to Snape's home. "Put these clothes on." he said. "until you reach the dorm."

Harry frowned. The black trousers were the least of his concern, but the white shirt and black slippers. He looked like a Snape-Clone with his dark, messy hair, but he complied.  
"Which world is this?" Harry asked.

Severus looked at him. "It doesn't matter. We will deal with any of them."

Harry smiled. Of course they would. "But we have to be careful. We cannot assume that anybody has knowledge about what happened to us."

Snape came closer. "You are right. Not even Dumbledore might know." He removed a strand of hair from Harry's forehead with the softest touch. Harry felt magic tickling along his spine. "You are still sixteen. If Hogwarts is out there, we have to be strictly teacher and pupil. What I have done..."

"What **we** have done." Harry interrupted.

Snapes mouth twitched. "You are nothing like your father." he said and smiled.

Harry smiled back, and a tear fell down his face.

"Still, the rules apply in this world, as they do anywhere else. I am meant to protect those I teach, not take advantage of them, and that is the only way the rest of the world will see it." he said and let go of him.

"What are we supposed to do?" Harry asked.

"We will find out." Severus said and they apparated, each going their own way.

 

 

Four

 

"We came back to the one world we were meant to be." Harry told the committee. "Only one thing had changed. Instead of hating the man who had protected me through all these years, I was closer to him than to anyone else."

"And did you continue your... illicit relationship?" the minister asked.

Harry looked away, towards Snape. "Of course not. I could not let any harm come to him."

"Profeesor Snape, please take the stand. I have a few questions." the minister said.

Snape walked down the aisle onto the stage.

"Is it true, what the boy said?"

Snape nodded. "Every word. We did not need an illicit relationship, as you call it. We shared a link ever since the world had collapsed. I always knew where Mr. Potter was and could warn him."

"So could Mr. Potter."

"Yes."

"And Voldemort wasn't able to penetrate this link?"

"In the end, it was of his own making, therefore of his own power. No, he never could." Snape said.

"So, when he was trying to kill you at the boat house...?"

Harry got up. "I was already there. The power of our link fired Voldemorts assault back and Nagini killed him instead."

The minister gaped at their revelation. When he found his voice again he said: "You have violated crucial laws of the wizarding world and I could throw you into Azkaban for any of them, let alone entertaing a sexual relationship to a minor."

Snape's face remained unreadable. He was not afraid. He would go to jail, if it meant to save Harry Potter. "I take responsibility for my actions." Snape said.

"The committee will decide. This hearing is adjourned." the minister said.

They both left the Auror headquarter.

 

 

Five

 

"I hope it hasn't all been in vain" Harry said back in Snape's home.

"No, Harry. Nobody can take away what we have."

"But what if they do?" Harry asked. He felt on edge now. "We have saved them."

Snape looked at him. "Yes we did, but at a cost. Are you willing to take it?"

"I don't know. I thought I was strong enough, but now, at the prospect of loosing you, again... I feel so weak."

Severus got hold of him. "Look at me!"

Harry's eyes had reddened. He did not want the man to see him.

"Look at me." Severus said softly.

Harry raised his head.

"Voldemort would have killed me, if you had not been there... You are the bravest man I have ever known. If we are not meant to be together, at least we have loved. That is more than I could have ever hoped for." Snape said.

Harry was not sure if this could be enough for him.

 

 

Six

 

The hearing continued.

"Harry Potter, Severus Snape, please stand."

The room was crowded once more.

"After weighing the facts and consequences of your actions we hereby announce the following verdict:  
For saving the world from Voldemort, all charges of temporal transgression will be dropped. Since you have agreed to question you under truth serum, we learned you spoke the truth about your sexual relationship."

Then he turned to Harry. "Mr. Potter. As an adult wizard you are free to resume any relationship to another adult wizard of your choice." then he smiled a bit.

Harry got up. People in the room started to cheer.

"I am not finished." the minister said. Harry sat down again, taking Severus hand. The cheers faded.

"The Aurors have decided that you are allowed into their trainig program for the position of Chief. Congratulation, Mr. Potter."

Now the room went crazy. People sprang from their seats, and magic fired from wands in celebration.

The men got up and turned towards the audience. Harry smiled and nodded, thinking about the woman who had promised, that one day he would be happy.


End file.
